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Jon and I got to do a very couple thing today. No, not that. Geez. Jon got to do the guy thing and hide in his cave, by playing on a double XP weekend on City of Heroes. I got to do the girl thing and go out with, my good friend, Robin, and have girl talk at a nice resturant. Sometimes you have to quite fighting the sexist stereotypes and just embrace them. There’s a reason that some things become stereotypes, because there’s a grain of truth to them. Men, periodically, need time to do their hobbies, whatever they are, and have that time to themselves. Women need time to themselves, but what I needed most was that talking time. That talk about everything and anything with one of your friends that you can say anything to. If you’re lucky, as a woman, you have one of those. I’m very lucky, I have two. But only one is a girl, and when you bear your soul, sometimes you want girl feedback and sometimes you want guy feedback. Today was a girl day. Lately, I’m trying to find out what refreshes me. What helps me feed not just my muse, but me. I’ve really tried this week to do different things, other than work. You know what? I feel better.

I think I’ve discovered the mistake in my logic. I keep talking about feeding my muse, and nothing about what feeds me, as a person. I’ve looked at my muse and myself as one in the same, and maybe they’re aren’t. Or, maybe what feeds my muse, and what feeds other parts of me aren’t the same. It’s all about the work. The work is great, and I love it, but as any workaholic will tell you, if they’re honest, you begin to loose yourself. Well, my goal this year is to find me again. To figure out, if I can have a hobby that isn’t research related. To rediscover, what it is that makes me happy, that isn’t just about the writing. I’ve been trying to find things to make the writing work better, easier, faster. I think, today, I realized that I’ve been looking at it backwards. If it’s not just about work, then I have to find things to do that aren’t about work. Scary thought that. But, I think the right one. I’ve made a start this year with the trip to the Keys, and the Foose. But there’s more . . . work to do. See, even relaxing is approached like it’s work, but you know what, that’s okay. Think about it, if I put the kind of effort into having fun that I put into the work, well, God knows. We could end up having a hell of a lot of fun.