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I have just reread the last paragraph I wrote twice and I can’t tell if it’s good, or bad, or indifferent. That means I’m officially too tired to write anymore. I was hoping that lunch would refresh me, and it did, but just after lunch and before I came back over the writer’s high of the morning began to seep away.

All you writers out there know what I mean by high. You have a wonderfully productive session either a lot of pages or just a break through in the plot, or some scene that’s been defeating you. The endorphins rise just like you’ve had some physical activity that hit that magic mark and flooded your system with endorphins. Runner’s high is the same thing. Sex raises your endorphins. Pain does it for some people, but only certain kinds of pain, not all of it.

This morning I checked the lettering for the next issue of THE LAUGHING CORPSE comic. My script adapter Jess had done such a good job, and our editor Mike had done an equally good job so it went quickly and there were only small changes. This was due today so it had to be first on the list. but I finished it early and was able to do five pages on DIVINE MISDEMEANORS before lunch. I moved past the scene that had sunk me and I knew what the next scene would be, and it was just a fun. I felt wonderful almost giddy with that rush of feel-good chemistry. But an endorphin high is like any other high for every up there is a down. It’s one of the reasons you get really sleepy after a truly good sex session. I was chatty and vivacious as I answered a few e-mails. I know to only write to good friends when I’m like this, because business e-mails come out a little too exuberant when endorphins have taken over most of my bloodstream. I was still in a great mood at lunch, then just as I was getting ready to go back to work the endorphins began to crash out of me. I was suddenly so tired.

If I wasn’t under more deadline pressure than you can shake a stick at I would have taken a bath or gone to the gym. Strangely I find the gym helps when I feel like this. But I had to try to do a few more pages, not on Merry. I find that this book especially if I push it then next day I write nothing, so five pages was good. But I have extra pages for the novella that are needed in New York ASAP.

Do you guys remember me talking about the novella awhile back? I was a little cagey about what it was about because I wanted the editors in New York to know the subject matter first. They can get cranky about surprise projects that are truly a surprise, so New York first, then I can talk freely. The novella is an Anita book, like MICAH, but it’s even more self-contained and a very tight plot. It’s a perfect small meal of a book, and I’m still happy with it. That says a lot for a writer. So if I can maintain the pace you guys are going to get a new Merry book in December then a new, but smaller, Anita book in the early part of the year, and then, if all goes well, a new regular size Anita book in June. Makes me tired just writing all that. I’ll know that Merry has truly captured my subconscious like Anita when she demands her own wee book someday. I look forward to it.

But the novella was like MICAH it interrupted me and demanded to be written before I could clear the decks and work on the current Merry book. Once it was done, I could write on something else, but only afterwards. Though MICAH interrupted another Anita book, DANSE MACBRE. I’ve learned that it’s just faster to give into an idea that is that pushy, because it pushes everything else out of your mind until you write it. Well, there were some early pages that needed to be expanded on, and the climatic fight scene needed to have some expansion, too. I often have to expand the climax of a book, because I tend to rush. I can see the end in sight and I just want to cross that finish line. So I cross it, then come back later and add if I still feel it needs it. Sometimes rushing is fine, but not this time. My editor and I have both agreed I need to add a few more pages, so I was doing that this afternoon. I got some notes on the plane ride down to my friends this weekend that belong at the beginning of the novella, and I was going along fine, then the endorphin dump hit serious low and I was just out of fuel.

I have now eaten a yogurt. I don’t really enjoy yogurt, but I don’t hate it, and some of the flavors are okay. Anyway, I was hoping that would energize me, it has not. So I’m drinking one last cup of strong tea, then if my energy is still flagging this badly I’m done for the day, and since it’s gym night probably done for the night. I’ve never been able to go back for three sessions of writing in a day, two is my limit. So, gym, or not, stick a fork in me, honey, I’m done.