Author: Jonathon

Well today is it. DANSE MACABRE is finally on sale. The day you, and I, have been waiting for. I can’t tell you how hard it is to keep quiet about the book and everything that happened in it. Now we can begin to talk about it. Just have to avoid spoilers. Sometimes that’s hard, too. The car will be here in moments to pick us up. Gotta go. See you guys tonight in St. Peters at the kick-off signing for DANSE MACABRE.

I am sitting in my office. I won’t get to work this morning because we have a television appearance. Which is cool, but I wanted to see what my office looked like this early in the morning. It’s wonderful. Sunlight baths one half of the space and lays in long rectangles across the pale wood floor. It’s a sight to lift the spirits and make the muse itch to get working. One of the ideas behind the new office was that it would increase my productivity. I’m a sunlight junkie when I work. Oh, occasionally rain, storm, or gloom of night is perfect for a scene or a story, but most of the time sunlight is the key for me. I have a third desk that is movable so I can chase the sunlight all day if I wish to. Cool.
I did eight pages yesterday. My goal was to do a days work in the room before we went out on tour. DANSE MACABRE comes out tomorrow, so I got my full work day in just ahead of all the hoopla. I’m looking forward to seeing everyone across the country. I’m looking forward to finally being able to discuss the book, though early on in tour most will not have read it, so it’s spoiler city. If you have specific questions from late in the book at the signings you’ll have to ask quietly when you come up to get your book signed. People hate spoilers. I guess I won’t be able to talk freely about DANSE MACABRE until late in tour.

Okay, this is the first thing I’ve typed at my desk in the new office. God, the room is huge. It’s so big compared to any other office I’ve ever had that it’s a little intimidating. Such a large space, that it makes me feel like I should have put a cubby hole somewhere where I could hide. My music is playing. It’s the same desk. The same computer and keyboard, but the wall in front of me is blank. I haven’t moved my sticky notes over yet. I think once I do that it will feel more like my wall. Though, I used to have walls this blank at the beginning of every book, until I ran out of wall space. I actually have so many sticky notes for future books that they were beginning to encroach on the area above the main desk. Which was one of the reasons to build the big, blank walls. So I’d have enough room to think. But I’ve been crowded for so long by my ideas, that a blank wall is sort of unnerving. I’ll move the sticky notes that have to do with the book I’m currently working on over the desk tomorrow. I’ll have enough room to move the notes that are other books to a different section of wall that I can’t see from my desk. I’ll move over the Merry notes, and even have room for the section of sticky notes that is neither series. They’d been regulated to the hallway outside my old office. I had literally used up all my wall space. Now I have more wall space. I wonder how long it will take me to fill this up? I remember when I moved into the old office, the biggest space I’d had to date, that I thought it was big enough. I’d never fill up all that wall space. Boy, was I wrong. So I don’t look at all this space and say I’ll never fill it up. I know better now. But tonight it is empty and smooth and hopeful. Sometimes a blank page is intimidating, but sometimes it feels exciting because I wonder, what will I fill it up with?

Well, we did it, we moved me into my new office. Jonathon’s been in his new office for awhile now. But I kept putting it off. I kept waiting to be completely done with a book before we moved me over. You guys see where this is going, right? DANSE MACABRE which is on the shelves now contains a third of what I was going to fit into one book. This meant that I had tremendous amounts of notes, even some finished chapters ready to go. Which meant that this next book was ready to be written as soon as MISTRAL’S KISS, Merry 5, was out the door. In fact I have so many notes about this book, just as I did DANSE MACABRE, that it’s almost too many notes to sift through. So that meant that I finished MISTRAL’S KISS and Anita book 15 was waiting to pounce. Yeah, the muse had been waiting awhile for me to get to this book, so it wasn’t subtle. It was more like being clubbed over the head and having the muse drag me into my office and set me in front of the computer. Work, damn, you! So I worked. And that meant that my lovely new office sat empty. The last interview that just appeared in the St. Louis Post Dispatch, even remarked on how empty the room was. Not anymore. Both desks, chairs, files on the floor to be put away. My stuff moved in and mostly in place. I’m both eager to go see it, and scared. I don’t like change much. I hate to even move furniture around, so a new office is sort of scary. If you don’t understand that, then I can’t explain it to you. To me, it’s intimidating to work in a new space after six years. No, it’s not the new space. I realized yesterday it’s that the room is almost as large as the house I was raised in. It was a small house, but my new office is almost as big as the house I spent my early life in. It is the office of my dreams. And part of me is intimidated by that. Am I scared of success? I didn’t think so. But maybe I am a little afraid of success beyond a certain point. And this office is sort of a reminder of how far I’ve come. Far beyond my wildest dreams when I started out as a writer.

Tried to post this at the time the blog says it was done, but for some reason blogger just didn’t put it up. So here it is again, a day late; Happy Solstice.
Today was the longest day of the year. A very major holiday for our faith. I have to admit that we did not do the pointy hats and robes. We kept it low key. Though before we leave on tour we have to do something with more pomp and circumstance. We will do a more complete ritual of the Oak King giving way to the Holly King. The idea is the god imagery is a metaphore for the passing of the seasons.

We thought this would run on Sunday, but it is running today. Pretty Cool.

I give up. I have to let tour and the getting ready for it engulf the world. I’ve fought the good fight and tired to keep going with the book, but today I realized that isn’t working. I lay there in bed this morning, going over the list of things to do in my head, and realized there was no way to get them done. No way to get them all done. That means something has to go. Since tour has a deadline, and a very soon deadline, well that has to jump to the front of the line. So today, probably no computer time for the book. But we’ll have the clothes for tour in hand, and we’ll have the rest of it mostly done. More interviews are coming every day, which is good, but that is also a call on our time. So, today I try to embrace the inevitable. Tour is coming and all else must wait upon it.
I wrote the above earlier in the day. Now it’s bedtime. I didn’t get to work on the book, but we did get the shoe shopping done. Which was fairly painless. Big surprise there. I’m off to bed. Pleasant dreams everyone.

Happy Father’s Day to all those dads out there. Trinity, our daughter, says that her two dads are great and that she loves them both. (Before any fans get too excited, she means my ex-husband and my husband Jon. She does not have two live-in daddies.) Jon, my husband, is spending father’s day in a traditional style — puttering. He’s puttering in his office which makes it work, but it’s still puttering and that’s what he wanted to do with his day. Most men really enjoy puttering. Puttering makes me anxious. My ex-husband, is off with his new wife on a trip. Funny, Trin has two mothers and two fathers. I didn’t have any of either as a child. As you can imagine, Father’s Day was not a holiday that meant much to me as a little girl.
Jon is caught up on his legos and his bionicles, so what to buy him? We got him two new t-shirts. One Spiderman shirt to replace one that has died. I was very excited to find that one since it was one of his favorite shirts, which is why it wore out. The other shirt was a new favorite, the Boondocks (the cartoon not the movie). Trinity also found the new release of THE PRINCESS BRIDE, with new commentary and special features. It’s one of Jon’s all time favorite movies, so it was a good choice. The rest of his present was getting to do what he wanted to do today. Time to do what you want to do is always the most precious gift, don’t you think?

Sex with Richard, finally. The sex was great, as always. The sex has never been the problem for Richard and Anita. But as always it never goes quite as I expected. For a character that was created to be my nice quiet harbor, Richard always seems to be the wild card. Gotta go, expected at the in-laws for a barbecue.

Made a mistake yesterday. I thought maybe I should go back to the music that first reminded me of Richard all those years ago. Maybe that would make the sex scene go smoother. I put in the soundtrack I listened to when Anita was first and very in love with Richard. But what I forgot is that it was a time when I was still very much in love with my first husband, Gary. It was the music that I danced a very tiny Trinity to sleep to. It was the music to a time in my life that doesn’t exist anymore. A time when I didn’t realize that there was a happiness greater than what I had, or that at some level I was already beginning to be miserable. I know there was a time when Anita was madly in love with Richard, and I wasn’t in love with my husband. I have no words to describe how painful it was to write about someone else in that first stage of deep love, while my own emotions were falling apart. It was exquisitely painful at times. Music can invoke memories, and I’ve spent two days listening to music that I now associate with a very hard time of my life. It isn’t Richard music for me anymore, it’s the sound track to the beginning of the end of my first marriage. Crap, no wonder I’ve been depressed. I was trying to recapture how Anita felt about Richard then, but I guess that old adage, you can’t go back, applies here, too. I have to find new Richard music. New music that helps me think of him, and them as a couple. I have to move on to what they are now, not what they were years ago. Relationships grow, or they die, but they don’t stay the same. So I’ve put on the music I normally listen to, and put the old stuff away. Damn.