Author: Jonathon

9/11/2001 changed the way most Americans viewed their world. Every anniversary of that day has been poignant, but this, the fourth anniversary seems more so. The government has been predicting another cataclysmic attack every since 9/11. We, the American people, have allowed the federal government to undermine our personal freedoms, all in the name of safety. We were promised that these measures would make us more secure, safer. Well we had the attack, but it wasn’t terrorists. It was a natural disaster. The southern coastline of our country is devastated. New Orleans is a city forever changed. The government had at least three days warning that the storm was coming. Three days warning, and the reaction from Homeland Security, FEMA, every branch of the government seemed confused, unfocused, and inadequate to meet the terrible force set against us. Everyone finally agrees that the government, whatever branch, did not react in a timely manner. Lives have been lost, and my understanding, are still being lost for lack of proper care. The people on the ground in New Orleans and elsewhere, they are doing their best. I cannot imagine the conditions they must be working under. I cannot imagine what the survivors are going through. Our best wishes and prayers go out to everyone involved.
After the tragedy of 9/11 people were so afraid, that they voted their fears. They have allowed the federal government an unprecedented erosion of our own freedoms as Americans. Jon and I have stood in a lot of airports with our arms out, and our legs spread. We toured in early October just after 9/11. We were in San Francisco airport when it was evacuated for a bomb scare. Three hours we waited outside the mostly glass structure wondering when, and if, all that glass was going to be blown our way. Luckily, it was a false alarm, just some careless person leaving a package. Or at least, that’s what we were told. We’ll never really know. Don’t have the clearance for it. But if we are in danger to the degree that our government has told us, then why are they going to get rid of thousands of the TSA workers at the airport. Their are reports of ten thousand, or more, being let go, from individual airports. If the danger is as grave as we were led to fear, then how can the government be cutting our safety measures at the airports? It makes no sense.
We were told that if we allowed them to begin to eat away at our personal freedoms, that we would be safer. I had hoped that they were right, but after what has happened in New Orleans, I do not believe it. The government had three days to plan, and they failed that city, miserably. Three days to plan. What would happen if we truly did get that terrorist attack out of the blue, no warning? Would the federal government be there to save us? I’m not saying they wouldn’t want to save us, but I simply no longer believe that they have the organization or leadership to figure out how to save us. Jon and I had talked about getting a generator, and going more solar. That is no longer idle talk. We’re not going to go all survivalist, but having power of our own, and extra food put by, is beginning to seem like a good idea. If the events in New Orleans had happened before the edition to our house was this close to finished, there would be an extra room with a generator, more solar power, and a stockpile. I do not want to frighten people, but I am frightened. I may complain about our current president, and be less than thrilled with him, but I had entertained that he had a plan. That someone on his cabinet, in his administration had a plan. I no longer believe that. We, the American people, have let the government eat away at our freedom of speech, dictate who we can and cannot marry, and are in danger of loosing even more of our rights as free citizens of this great country. All that we have given up, or had forced from us by the votes or apathy of our fellow citizens, and are we safer than we were three years ago? Has everything we gave up made us safer? If you said, yes, to that question, then I do not understand you. The government’s failure, at every level, in New Orleans, makes the only answer to; are we safer now than three years ago, no. We are not safer. Our government is not more able or ready to help us. In fact, the government seems lost. I do not like feeling that my government is this out of touch, this confused. They have scrambled in the last few days to point fingers and blame like children a when a lamp gets broken. It wasn’t my fault, it was his. I feel like the governed needs a mommy to come in and say, “I don’t care whose fault it was, clean up this mess, and help these people.”
We have donated in small ways to the relief efforts happening in the wake of this awful storm. We are trying to decide how to help in more major ways. It is all so overwhelming. I have found hurricane Katrina to be a more personally overwhelming disaster than 9/11. Why? Because I felt that our government did it’s best during 9/11. I did not like that the federal government was trying to take away our rights as free citizens of this country. I didn’t like the extra rules. I did not have the faith in the concept of Homeland Security that others did. But I had hoped, that even if they were doing it in ways I didn’t like, that they had a plan. That the governed knew something I didn’t. I now believe what I thought all the time, that some parts of our government used 9/11 for their own political agenda. That they fostered fear and anxiety among their voters to get re-elected. Their lack of sympathy and action about this predicted, anticipated disaster, has made it clear that they are not prepared. I do not believe that the answer is to give Homeland Security, or FEMA, or any federal agency more control over our state government, or the personal lives of the people. I believe that the answer lies at a more local level. We must regain our freedoms, believe in our selves, and not let anyone use our fear against us again. I’m not talking about the terrorists. I’m talking about our own governed officials. They used our fear of another attack from terrorists to pass laws, and institute new government programs. All to keep us safe. I believe that some of them will try and use this abysmal failure of the government to protect it’s citizen to try and give the federal government more power over us. Do not let them. Do not let them use this for political clout. This isn’t about politics. This is about all the people who have lost loved ones. Who have lost everything. But they are playing games with the survivors, even now. Countries around the world have offered us help, and the federal governed is refusing it. We need it, so why refuse it? They say it’s for security reasons. That they don’t want foreign planes in their air space. I just don’t buy that a plane load from Sweden is a danger. Which is one country, among many that they have refused aid from. Why? Is it to keep us safer? I do not believe that. A lot of the countries that we helped during the tsunami have offered aid, but we are refusing it, or most of it. Unless the governed changed it’s mind since last I checked. If they have, then I’m sorry, but to my knowledge we are turning away help. Help that the people of our southern coastline need. Why is our government turning it down? I don’t believe it’s security reasons, they’ve used that line for three years, I don’t believe it anymore.
I believe the reason that our governed is not wanting to take the aid from other countries, is because we’re America. We’re a super power. We don’t need anyone’s help. Maybe the federal governed doesn’t need the help of other countries, but the people of Louisiana do. I believe that the federal government is afraid to take up the offers of aid, because if they do, then it says, we, the super power need the
help of other countries. If we, the United States of America, need the help of other countries, then it begins to beg the question, are we a super power? I believe the federal government fears to take in all the foreign aid because it will make us look weak as a country. I believe that some of the federal governed are afraid to take all the foreign aid, because they fear it will lead to criticism of them. I believe that many of our politicians are more worried about politics than saving lives. I do not want to believe this. I disagreed on ideological grounds with many of the leading politicians, but I had thought that at some level they understood that politics isn’t about power, not ultimately. Ultimately politics is about people. Please, anyone who is actually in charge of this disaster. Please, take the aid. Help these people. Fix this mess. Worry about our standing in the world community after the survivors have food, shelter, clean water, health care, and safety. We are the United States of America. We will still be that, if we let a plane from Sweden land in our country. We will still be America if we let all the countries we have helped over the years help us. Taking help from your friends is not weak. That is what friends are for. I know that it is naive to talk of friendship on a international political level. But, maybe, in this time of crisis, we could begin to realize that we have more friends than enemies in the world. The world may be puzzled by America. We are unique, and sometimes too loud, and too full of ourselves, too sure, but we are, after all, only 230 years old, as a country. We are a teenager, as countries go. Maybe it’s time to grow up, and realize that we aren’t isolated in our fears. That there are millions of people around the world, right now, right this minute, that are worrying with us. Strangers we will never meet have cried at the news of our losses. As we cried when the tsunami hit. As we cried when we heard of the tragedy on a bridge in Iraq. Tears do not make us weak. Tears prove that we have hearts.

Too much news coverage of the terrible events in New Orleans. Needed something to try and take the mind off of things. Saw CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY. It was great. Nicely creepy, and fantastical. Also saw THE BROTHERS GRIM. I had real hope for the movie, unfortunately, the hope was not realized. It’s the number two movie at the box office this week, and we contributed to that. I hope others who saw it were happier with the movie than I was. The movie tried to do too much. Action adventure, buddy film, comedy, horror movie. A very ambitious mix for anyone to attempt, and sadly this movie just didn’t pull it off. Very disappointing. So disappointing in their use of fairytales that it pissed me off. I thought, I could do better than that. I had this same sense of anger and frustration years ago about vampires, and then fairies. I got two book series out of the fact that people were just not doing things the way I wanted to read them. Well, I got twelve pages, and the first chapter of a book where fairytales play a role. It’s the first chapter probably of a book at least one, or two down the road from where I’m at now. Twelve pages in a rush of muse driven bitchiness. I can do better, well, then do it. Few things inspire me like seeing something that could have been really good miss the mark. Of course, my take on the whole fairytale has nothing in common with the movie that frustrated me, except that fairytales are involved. You’re supposed to use things as inspirations not rip them off, or regurgitate them on paper. You can be inspired but find your own voice, and your own unique vision. Because that’s what it’s all about. Your own take on an idea that no one else could do.

The New York Times link to the radio interview transcript
You may have to register to the site, but its a free registry.
I have nothing to add. This man says everything I could, and he knows what he’s talking about. Where I’d just be shooting my mouth off.
Give it a read. Or give it a listen through the mp3 link at the top of the page.

Another sex scene, and I am so not in the mood. Still not a hundred percent well from the sinus infection. Allergies are kicking my ass. A nap, or a video sound about the right speed for today, but instead we’ve got to have literary sex. Some days the sex scenes are easy, or at least fun, but then there are days like this. When the book is willing, but the flesh is tired. Part of the problem is Anita is not in the mood either, we’re in the middle of a metaphysical disaster of cataclysmic proportions, at least for Anita’s personal life. Is this a spoiler, yes, but I don’t know how to explain the event without spoiling some stuff. Anita’s been trying to not feed the arduer again. She and I have just come to a point where we’d like to try and make it work with the men we already have in our life, and not add. But we’ve discovered that part of the reason that the arduer doesn’t stay fed is that feeding on someone that is bound to you metaphysically is like eating your own arm. You’re eating energy that you’re sharing back and forth anyway. You need an occasionally meal that isn’t sucking energy from you. So Anita and I both understand the necessity of adding a new pomme de sang now that Nathaniel is her animal to call, but who? Who won’t screw our domestic arrangements all to hell? You might conceivably have sex with this many men on a regular basis, if it was just sex, but taking care of everyone’s emotional issues, too? I just don’t see how any one woman can take care of that many emotional needs. The thought of adding another man to the mix, well, Anita has just balked at it. I don’t blame her.
But what happens when she doesn’t feed the arduer enough? What happened last time? Damian got hurt, almost drained dry. Well, guess what? Yeah, it’s happening again, but this time it’s daylight and he’s in his coffin, and if she doesn’t fix this he won’t ever wake again. To make matters worse, Nathaniel tried to share energy with him metaphysically, since he is the animal to that particular triumverate, and Nathaniel doesn’t know how to share energy. If Anita doesn’t fix this, they may both die. How do you fix it? Feed. Feed the arduer. But I don’t think Anita and I have both felt so unarduerish in books. Too worried, too stressed, too scared. Ah, but here’s the fix. Requiem’s power. It’s like hours of really good foreplay in seconds, and it will raise the arduer if Anita doesn’t shield against him. Feed on him, save the day, right? Yeah, Requiem’s power will put Anita in the mood immediately. Problem, I don’t have Requiem here with me. Fictional character and all. And contrary to rumor, my having real life sex doesn’t necessarily make it easier to write literary sex scenes. Sometimes it does, I’ll admit that, but my energy is low enough that right this moment I could have sex or write about it, not both. I’d really need that nap if I did real life sex. Besides, it’s a little awkward to tell everyone else, sorry, lunch has to wait, Jon and I are going to have sex. That just seems rude. It has been one of the downsides to adding to the workforce here at the house, all those odd little social conventions to be adhered to. But even if Jon and I could throw caution, and politeness to the wind, it’s easier to have real sex than to write about it. I’m sure I’ve discussed before somewhere in the blog that it’s easier to run your fingertips down someone’s skin, than to describe how it feels on paper. So much easier.
So here I sit, trying to conjure not just good sex, but great sex, and I’m almost sure that once we’ve fed on Requiem that it won’t be enough to undo the damage we’ve done to Damian and Nathaniel. Which means more sex, of at least the metaphysical variety. Since I try to make every sex scene the best it can be, it means the bar will be raised damned high by the time we get this fixed. It will also be the first time that we’ve had more complete sex with Requiem, so a first time on screen for him. I always feel a certain performance anxiety for the men the first time. My words are all they have to defend their honor, and their technique. Some of the male characters will let me make them short, or not absolutely gorgeous, or amazingly endowed, but they all insist inside my head that they be good in bed. I can’t blame them, but it does make a writer’s job hard, sometimes.
I’ve just sort of read back over the complaining, and I have to say, what a great job. My worst complaint today is that I’m not in the mindset to do the big sex scenes that are coming up near the end of the book. Sometimes I buy into Anita’s emotions so deeply that her terror at loosing her loves, spills over to me. Sometimes I have to get some distance and remind myself that her sorrow is not mine, her losses, not mine. So real, sometimes, she seems to me. Hell, I bought a present for Nathaniel the other day. I started to talk myself out of it, I mean I’ll never be able to give it to him, he’s not real. But I bought it anyway, because I wanted to, and I could see the smile of pleasure on his face when I gave it to him. I used to fight myself when I saw something and thought would this, or that, imaginary friend love this. I thought how weird, how psychotic, to feel that the characters are that real. But you know what, I’ve stopped fighting with myself and take it as a sign that the character has become that real to me. It’s a gift, not a curse. Most of the time. I’ve already bought the penguin calendar for next year for Anita. The one character that I don’t buy much for is Jean-Claude? Why? Because if I’m spending that much money on jewelry the man has got to be real flesh and blood. Jean-Claude’s okay with that, he’d rather have me have Anita give him the jewelry anyway. I’m working on it. She’s just not as comfortable with it as I am.

Still sick. Better, but as usual for some sinus infections the little bugger has hung on for more than a week. I’m much better, but not well. I averaged about four pages a day last week, or a little over. Anyway I ended up with twenty-three pages by Friday’s end. I actual did rest, thank you very much, but the book is driving me crazy. It’s ready to go, and I’m too puny to finish it. But, actually, the forced rest has been useful. It’s forced me to make lots of notes by hand lying on my back on the couch, or in bed, and thinking out loud, so to speak. Bringing all the elements of the book together is requiring some interesting pre-planning. I’ll write a little bit that will actually be written in the book, then I’ll make a note, and write options for the next part of the scene. Then I’ll lay the notebook down, and try to decide which way the characters are going to jump. The scene includes Richard and Anita, along with a cast of about half a dozen, but a lot of those are bodyguards, so they don’t really count for dialogue and character development, not for this scene. Anyway, I have to somewhere and lay down for a few minutes. Then I’ll feel better, and hopefully be able to type some of my notes into actual pages. I also looked over the Micah edits,hopefully that will go out today. Alright, wishful thinking on my part, but hopefully tomorrow.

Pushed myself yesterday. Got eight good pages, but paid for it today. Fever’s back, and I’ve felt like crap all day. I almost always do this. Get just a little better then push myself back to work, and get a relapse. I tried to be better, I mean I only did eight pages, and stopped. I thought I’d shown restraint, my body says different. I’ve been good today, rested (not had a lot of options, really) and not worked. Okay, a few notes long hand while lying on the couch. I couldn’t help myself. This brief note to you guys, and I’m to bed. My energy is draining away as I type this. Good night everyone.

Well it’s official, I’m sick. A sinus infection has struck. I’m on antibiotics, so I should feel markedly better pretty rapidly. Heck, I already feel better than I did early yesterday. Modern medicine is a wonderful thing. But sick is sick, so no work yesterday, at all. Very frustrating. I’m in the end game of DANSE MACABRE. I have to finish going over the final edits on MICAH. I thought the edits would be going out yesterday at the latest, but I don’t think making final decisions when I feel this bad is a good idea. Yesterday I buttered a piece of bread and started to put it in the toaster. Jon and I decided that I shouldn’t play with anything that used electricity for the rest of the day. Today, I’m clearer headed than that, but not completely. It’s a fight to concentrate, or decide anything. So, no final edits until I’ve been on meds for at least the rest of today. Give me two days on antibiotics, before I decide things that will actually hit print.
I had these great notes on the next chapter of DANSE MACABRE. I thought I’d get a couple of pages out of them, nope. Once I deciphered the handwriting it’s a paragraph of keepable material. Disappointing. The question is do I push myself and try to get a few pages, or do I give up and just rest? I’ll feel better if I make a little progress. True. I’m going to go now, because otherwise I’ll just natter away on the blog and not get any of the book written. Bye for now.

The Message Boards are back up as some of you already know. They are located at forum.laurellkhamilton.org.

Sometime this afternoon, the server is going to be re-booted, so there will be a short down time while I make some final changes. So be aware that there will be some down time.

I’m going to run now and get breakfast.

My typing speed had been going down. Not my page count, but literally my typing speed had gone down, and my accuracy. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong, then it hit me — my finger nails were too long. Usually one breaks, then you trim them to match. Or several break and it just all evens out. For some strange reason I had not broken a single nail for weeks. My nails had grown beautifully. They looked great, but they were so long that I couldn’t type well. So I cut them. All of them. They are now like just barely above my fingers, thin little rims of white. Not the long girlish nails that I’d been sporting. But, boy, I can type again. When I tell my daughter that I’m not a good girl, this is what I mean. It’s good to have nice looking nails, it’s better to be able to do something with those fingers. I’ll wear impractical shoes for dressy events, and I like a corset or waist-cincher when the occasion calls for it, but on a day to day basis pretty doesn’t cut it. What you are able to do, is more important than how you look while you do it. Don’t just stand around looking pretty, do something. Thus ends the lecture. I’m going to go back to typing between 150 and 200 hundred words a minute, thanks. How else do you think I type so many pages at a shot?

If you are reading this, please make note of the URL. It is no longer at www.eridine.com/blog, but is now at blog.laurellkhamilton.org.
there is a re-direct at the old site, and it will stay there for over a month. But this is the initial step of a planned server and Service Provider migration. Soon the message board will be back up and running. I’ll post a notice once it goes live.
Also changing, is our mail server. So if your messages or orders go awry, please be patient, I’ll post a note when I’m satisfied that the new mail server is up.