A very frustrating day. My dyslexia (only found out about it this year) acted up today. I find that it’s worse on high stress days. It’s very mild to begin with only about the middle two letters of a word switch. No wonder I can’t spell. Usually not a big deal. But today, I was trying to print out the Merry book, from it’s various files, and I couldn’t figure out how to do it. It never occurred to me that doing shorter more logical names for files would bump up against the dyslexia. I couldn’t figure out why I would open a file and it did not contain what I was sure it should contain. I thought, well okay, it’s a stressful day, I’ll make notes. I carefully wrote down what was in each file and wrote the name of the file. Then I tried using my notes, and what I’d written down did not match the file I’d written down. In fact, if I’d acted on some of my notes, I would have deleted a file I needed, and kept a file of gibberish. I was switching one letter and one number, or misremembering which was which. One letter, and one number, and I simply could not see them correctly. I begin to see why algebra wasn’t my best subject in school. I finally had Jonathon come up and simply sit in front of both computers and look at the files, and write down what they were named, and even then, I could not read them correctly.
How did we fix this problem? We renamed the files. Made their names longer so the letters I switch will be further into the word, and not be the letter or number designator. The .doc is what did me in on the original file names. If .doc had not been there, I would have switched some of Merry’s name, and that I can spell, but the .doc made me switch the very letter/number combination that was crucial to the whole naming convention.
Strangely, it was blogger that made me realize I had dyslexia. Their spell checker puts the word that I’ve written just above the correct spelling. One day I thought the spell checker wasn’t working, because it kept trying to get me to replace a word with the same spelling it said was incorrect. I called Jonathon up, and he said, no, the e and the i were opposite. I could not see any difference between the two words. Even after it was pointed out for me. It looked identical to me. I’m a writer, a best selling writer. I have two college degrees one in English and one in biology. And no one ever figured out that I had a learning disability. Not even me.
I probably wouldn’t have thought dyslexia even then, except that we’d been going through testing with our daughter, Trinity. Yep, she’s got it, too, and it is the beginning and end of words that switch on her. That makes learning to read much harder than just switching a couple of letters in the middle of a word. She’s also very good at math, which I am not. She does not switch numbers, only letters. I switch both. Interesting.
It explains why I was one of the last kids to learn to read in first grade, but once I could read I jumped to harder books very quickly. I switch the middle letters of words, sometimes, longer words are easier for me to read than shorter words. Funny, my learning disability may be partially responsible for my early and extensive vocabulary.
Trinity’s father just called to tell me that he had his teacher parent conference and she has just gotten the best report card ever. Like A’s and B’s, except for one C. The tutoring is helping, and her school has been great. And she has lots of adults in her life that are pulling out all the stops to help her where no one helped some of us. But no one tested for anything when I was a child. You were bad at math, or couldn’t spell. It was just a skill you didn’t possess. It never occurred to anyone that it could be more than that. Yes, maybe we’re over testing our kids, and maybe some parents look for problems where there aren’t any, because there has to be a reason that there kid is not perfect, but when there is a real problem, catching it as early as possible is the key. Catching a child up before they get discouraged and just give up.
This is a long blog and it better post.

This is something that Laurell wanted to post yesterday, but we weren’t able to do, as Blogger wasn’t working for us.
So here it is….
We?ve been unable to post to the blog for days. We?re having problems with the server on bloggers end. Jonathon is working to try and figure out what?s up. So if you get this ? great. If you don?t we?ll keep trying. I?m at least writing this in word so if the computer gods eat it, I don?t have to try and reproduce it. I had a nearly three page blog that got eaten. So discouraging. I won?t even talk about the election. I think we?ve all had enough of it. I know I have.
Cold here, not autumn but wintery. Time to get out the heavy leather coats. Still trying to finish up the fourth Merry book, A STROKE OF MIDNIGHT. We?re in the end game, but it?s a long damned end game. I am ready for either a break or to start on the next Anita book. Lucky thirteen. A fan gave us dubs of music on tour, said, if I liked them please buy the originals. BREAKING BENJAMIN, both the two c. d.s I could find. That?s what I?m listening to today, and yesterday. I?ved found that Merry writes better if I pay more attention to my appearance. Merry just isn?t a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl. Especially when just putting a nicer shirt and a pair of boots on dresses up the jeans. I guess I can?t argue. Since I?ve been dressing more for the ?office? I?m averaging ten pages a day. If wearing a little bit of make up and a nicer shirt and jewelry does it for Merry, then I?m not argueing. Today I?m sort of dressed half way between the two series. Nice black jeans, but white comfy tennis shoes (Nike had stopped making their all black jogging shoes), a white t-shirt with penguins on it, and a quote that says, ?Wilderness . . . the permanent home of the human spirit.? By Joseph Wood Krutch. But I?ve got a tailored black suit jacket over it all, a little bright red lipstick, a touch of eye-liner, frankly left over from yesterday. Merry seems okay with the look, and it looks surprisingly good together. Anita simply does not care. Funny, I?d tried everything in my office to get Merry to play better with me, and what she actually wanted was a little more effort on my part. Frankly, when we first got back from tour Jonathon and I were strickly t-shirt, jeans, and jogging shoes. Merry let me get away with it for awhile, but the honeymoon?s over, back to work.
Why haven?t I mentioned the election? Because I assume that allof you are as tired of it as we are. I hear that Kerry will give his speech at 1:00 our time to give the victory to Bush. They tell us to go to the polls and vote, but by this afternoon there will still be votes uncounted in some states. Some of our servicemen and women had to have their absentee votes resent to them, so their votes were post marked last night. No way are they all here to be counted. It?s not about who won, or lost, not about this. What it?s about is they tell us every vote counts, then they don?t count them. Shame on them. I know if I was risking my life for my country I would feel pretty bad if my vote never even got counted. Some people stood in line for hours here in the states, and now all that effort and time, did it matter? Both sides seem to be saying, no, it didn?t matter. I think that?s a pretty sad message to send out to America. Sorry, I guess this is a little bit of a soap box.

Ok, this is a test to see if Blogger is working again.
I’m sure it was down for us, mostly because of the Election Hooey of the past few days.
here goes something….

VOTE!

Another wonderful event at the Wild Canid Research Center. Jonathon and I arrived a little late because I spent too much time sitting on the couch watching a video with Trinity. Her father was picking her up, and we curled up on the couch and watched THE THREE MUSKETEERS, the new Disney version with Mickey Mouse, Goofy, and Donald Duck. The beginning is very slow, and predictable doesn’t cover it, but it picks up in the second half. Frankly, the entire video is worth watching for me for just two scenes. First Clara Bell, the cow, is a villain, and does a great job at it. Second, she and Goofy have a wonderful scene together on a bridge where she’s come to kill Goofy. I don’t want to give anything away, but let’s just say that I just never new Goofy swung that way. The scene with Mickey in the dungeon where there is a sign on the wall that says you must be this tall to survive this dungeon will have anyone that’s ever been to Disney, or any amusement park laughing.
Jonathon and I arrived after almost everyone else was already at the Wild Canid Center. We parked and walked to the bonfire they had made for us in a clearing. They had carved some very cool pumpkins to act as a back drop. It was our second wolf howl event, and the second where that night was a lunar eclipse, and I believe the second where the moon is what is called a blood moon. Where the moon turns red, or orange like a sunset from reflected light. And it was the second time it was too cloudy to see much of the moon, eclipsed or otherwise. It was also great weather, light jacket weather. I read the first two chapters of the next Merry book, A STROKE OF MIDNIGHT. It’s release date is spring, I believe April. We did some questions and answers, then I got to see if any of my stage training was still hanging around because I read for half an hour, or so, with no mike. Apparently, everyone could still hear me. Mr. Huber, my drama teacher, would be so pleased.
Then off to walk the half mile, or so, to see if the wolves would talk to us. We stood in the dark, surrounded by autumn woods, and the first long, lonely howl cut the darkness. Then a second howl answered, and suddenly the night was filled with wolf song, and the African wild dogs joined in, so that we stood in the dark and were surrounded by the sounds. The volunteers at the Center had feared the wolves wouldn’t sing for us, because they’d been silent for weeks, but they simply outdid themselves last night. I stood in the dark, holding Jonathon’s hand, and thought I’m so glad I’m here at this moment. It was magical. The wolves were as generous last time with their beautiful singing. Maybe it’s the eclipse?
Then we all walked to the building that looks like a giant igloo, for hot chocolate and cookies, and the book signing. We did a few more questions and answers, then we signed books. Thanks to everyone who came out. We had 110 people, because they limit the number of tickets, so the wolves don’t get nervous. We raised 1,600 dollars. Yea! More people wanted tickets, but you just can’t get too many more people around the wolves, if we want them to howl for us. So thanks again to everyone that helped make it a great event. Gotta go make pages.

Hi! It’s Darla. First I wanted to say thank you to all the folks who came out last night to the wolf howl. Again, all the wolves howled. Even the African Dogs got in on it by barking. A dog, is a dog is a dog.
It was terrific to see familiar faces and so many new ones too. Always a delight to chat with everyone. The crowd numbered 110, slightly more than usual. Apparently Pam has trouble saying no to someone who really wanted to come. Our many thanks to her, Wendy and the rest of the staff for making everyones evening enjoyable. They are working hard at raising money for the move. The fencing alone will run a million dollars so every penny helps.
Here is a small reminder, the Wolf Sanctuary is having it’s Holiday Sale December 4th and 5th from 10Am – 4PM. You can shop the gift shop for all kinds of goodies. Think presents. Also, there will be a tour available of the sanctuary for $5 per person, no reservation necessary. You can get details or even shop online at www.wolfsancturay.org.
Other things that are happening now:
NEW AUCTION————————————————————-
Actually, we are running dual auctions! CT Adams and Cathy Clamp have sent a signed arc copy of Hunters Moon to auction. This is a terrific werewolf book! It will be out in December but you can jump on it and get a copy now!
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2497938443
Check out the first chapter at http://www.ciecatrunpubs.com
Also, Teanette Majors bought a signed copy of Incubus Dreams for us to auction. Thanks so much Teanette! Laurell will personalize it too at the request of the high bidder.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2497939480
As always, all monies generated will go to Granite City APA! Think a wonderful Xmas gift for someone.
MESSAGE BOARD————————————————————-
I know, we have been having major problems with message board. So for the time being (as in till we fix it) public posting is re-enabled. You do not have to have an account to post. You may go ahead and register for one, will save time when I turn it back on, which hopefully will be soon. Sorry for all the hassles.
GIFT CERTIFICATES————————————————————–
We have gift certificates! https://www.laurellkhamilton.com/Goodies.html They come in increments of $5.00. So if you cannot decide what you want, or need something to tell someone else to get you, how about a GC? Good for all the fan club merchandie.
NEW MERCHANDISE————————————————————–
The holidays are here and we have our Anita and Merry holiday ornaments up for 2004 at www.cafeshops.com/lkhprem. Check em out.
That’s all I have to say. Bye! Darla

Jonathon and I have been fighting the good fight today. He’s been struggling with computer network problems. I can’t explain them, because I don’t understand them, but I know that my new computer cannot print without much time and effort. Darla, too, has been struggling with computer problems this week. The cable company is outside working on the main line. I think our business complaints may have forced them to fix some long standing problems. We’re hoping that that will fix at least the problems that Darla’s been having with the message board. But who knows?
I have an outline of the rest of the Merry book. We are in the end game, but its a damned long end game. When the books I wrote were five hundred pages or under, I could bull my way through the end game. I could simply do brute strength of will on the last fifty, or hundred pages, but when you’re end game is more like three hundred pages, there’s just no way to simply tough that one out. It’s like trying to run three marathons back to back to back. Just not doable. So, I have this outline. Six pages, single space, numbered thirty-two points. I know almost exactly what’s happening until the end of the book. So close I can taste it, but I can’t get there from here, because hundreds of pages separate me from it. I finished the outline last night to sort my mind through the plot, and it seemed so simple, so straight-forward. I planned on getting through the first six pages on the outline today. I have worked all day with only a break for lunch, and one personal phone call, and I have not finished with point 1. Yeah, that’s right, pages and pages and point 1 is still kicking my butt. Good pages, fun pages, but I feel stalled anyway, because I know I’m not even on point 2 of the outline. This is one of the reasons I don’t usually do detailed outlines. It always takes an amazing amount of pages to get through any point, that it feels like I’m not making progress even when I am.
For those of you who have been reading the blog. I have decided to ignore some of the personal stuff for awhile in the blog, at least. I can’t really ignore it in real life, but I do not need to rehash it here, nor do I need to inflict it on you nice people. So until I get my emotional crap sorted out, the blog will be about the writing, and business. Oh, maybe one or two political blogs as the vote gets closer, but for the most part I’m going to try and tone down the personal stuff. Too painful.
Speaking of business, we’re doing the wolf howl tonight at the Wild Canid Center. Me reading in the dark by firelight, with some questions and answers, then we get to walk through the dark in the woods to see if we can get the wolves to howl to us. No promises, sometimes they don’t talk back, but last time we were really blessed. All the wolves chorused through the dark, like being bathed in the singing of wolves. We’ll see what happens this time. Then back to the gift shop area for a signing. Limited tickets, and too my knowledge they are all sold. The proceeds go to support wild canid research, rehabilitation, and breeding programs, with an eye to re-release into the wild. It’s a very cool place, and a very cool cause. See some of you tonight.

Mysterious Galaxy. One of the few independent bookstores we did on tour, and always a pleasure to be there. A big crowd that held more familiar faces, some people who were engaged last time, are now getting married. People graduating and making plans for the future. We?re always amazed at the number of people that come back signing after signing and stand in line for hours each time. Several people gave us gifts, but the one that sticks out to us, is the young lady who made a stuffed Jean-Claude penguin to replace some of the Sigmunds that went missing. She made a poofy shirt for him, complete with jeweled collar, and a cross-shaped mark on his chest. She said that the hardest thing to do was find blue buttons for the eyes. There have been other cool gifts that we?ve received at other signings, everything from Jewelry to posters to stuffed animals, t-shirts to buttons and so much else. But seeing a floppy stuffed penguin with long black yarn hair, was just too cool.

Sometime a go I know I mentioned that one of my uncles had been diagnosed with cancer. When we visited him, he’d seemed to be doing well, but as can happen . . . I got the news yesterday that he died of complications. Funeral is next week, and now I get to decide if I’m going or not. Several states away, and will I be any help to anyone?
Yesterday when I got the news I felt nothing. Empty, totally empty. Peaceful even. Then I found one of the hermit crabs had died, and suddenly I was upset. Displacement is a weird thing to do with your emotions, but I fixated on that damned crab. That was what I was upset about, right? It turns out that when I went to remove the crab today, it wasn’t dead. We did some emergency crab care and the crab may pull through. It’s either Zoidberg, or Rainbow, really without Trinity here to tell me I can’t keep track of which crab has moved into which shell. I think we’re down to three or four crabs, from eight. Easy care pets, yeah, right. I have worst luck with anything that is supposedly easy care. Give me something that people say is hard, or you can’t keep alive, and that will thrive for me. Orchids grow better for me than spider plants or philendendrons.
See, I’m talking about the crabs again, and plants, and anything but my uncle. I just got off the phone from my Aunt Juanita. She’s holding up well, but then, I had no doubt she would. She’s just that kind of person. I’m not the only strong woman in my family, no big surprise there, I guess. I thought I could write about how I feel, but I guess I can’t, or rather don’t want to. I guess I’ll stop, and get back to work. When all else falls to hell there is still the books. Still the words. Still Merry cuddled in the floor with Frost and Doyle. Many of you tell me that my books help you get through horrible things in your life, well, me, too, sometimes. Other people have trouble concentrating when things go wrong, the more wrong things are, sometimes the more pure my concentration becomes.

Yesterday was my first day back at the computer. I’d been making notes on the computer, because, frankly, my arm was still too sore to write long hand. Yesterday my arm allowed me to finally start making some long hand notes without too much pain. Yea. But also, I finally made actually pages at the point that I left the Merry book. Today I woke with the scene still strongly in my mind and ready to go. Very cool.
I’ve divided my work day up between THORNLEY, and THREE DAYS GRACE, both I believe have only their debut albums. Thornley for morning, and Three Days Grace for later, it’s a touch harder, and I need something a wee more gentle first thing in the morning. The dogs are asleep around the office. Pip and Sasquatch on the big bed; Phouka under my desk; Jimmy on his bed in the corner. So good to be home.
I can say one thing about this tour, it’s made me appreciate a lot of things more. The workmen moving back and fourth outside my windows are not nearly the distraction they were before Jon and I went out across the country. We’ve worked out twice this week, and our trainer, Keith, says we were strong, good sessions. Every time the weights seemed too heavy, my arm hurt too much, I just thought, “I’m happy to be home.” How’s that for motivation. The weights helped my arm so much on this tour that we’ve talked to Keith about hitting them harder when we’re recovered just a wee bit more. He’s agreed. Like he’d ever disagree with us wanting to do more. Tour taught me that I will need to have some serious muscle development before I go out again. We’ll see how it goes.
It was good to see everyone. If Jon hasn’t already, he will be putting up our last blog from the road. The tour went great. I believe this week INCUBUS DREAMS is number 2 on the New York Times List. Very cool. It was all very cool, but it’s even cooler to be home again.
Trinity’s birthday party is tomorrow. Lots of little girls, cake, and the whole works. She won’t be officially ten until after the date of the party, but we rarely seem to have the party on the actual date. She’s so excited she can hardly stand it. Well, back to making pages.