Author: Jonathon

Hey guys. I think I’m going to have Jonathon make a second supplementary blog for my soap box moments. We’ve learned at personal appearances that some people read this blog the way that we look at Sluggy Freelance (a wonderful internet comic). It’s their morning or evening hello to the internet. So for those who use the blog as an escape I’ll divide it between the unpleasant stuff. Mostly political. And the writing stuff, and lighter stuff. We’ll probably have the other blog thingie up in a week or two. Until then I’ll try to stay off my soap box. Unless, I just can’t help myself. Who knows maybe someone will do something so outrageous that I won’t be able to stand it. Bye for now.

For those of you who have read the last two blogs, and wondered when the heck did this blog go politic, I apologize. Not about what I wrote, but just that if this blog is supposed to be a refuge from the crap out there, the last thing you want to read about is more politics. So, in that spirit . . .
I did eleven pages on Saturday morning. Yea! I’m sort of hitting a rhythm. Today I get to visit the hallway of mortality (the torture chamber for the Unseelie court). It should be interesting, and disturbing, and dangerous. But before that I have to see what the dead gardens have instore for Merry and her men. How do you get someone down from a tree that has decided to make him part of the tree? Very bad ju-ju to cut a faerie tree. So what, you use magic, but what kind? How do you persuade a tree to give up a part of itself? How do you talk to a tree? I always get such interesting problems in my books. I’m going to go try and figure it all out. Bye for now.

Okay, I’ve been talking to a lot of people lately that are feeling very anxious. Anxious about real problems, or just anxious in general. It’s almost like it’s some sort of contagion of anxiety, and mild depression. Everywhere I go; people are worried about their jobs, or lack of them. Everyone is worried that if Bush is reelected that a draft will be put in, and it will not exempt only children, because there aren’t enough households without them. Women will be included, but the thing that really has most people worried is the age being raised, so that early thirties, and you’re still not safe. How many of us could leave our businesses for a year or more, at 33 or 35, and have a business to come back to.
On the other side of the coin, are the people terrified that if Kerry, or any democrats is elected president, that terrorist will swoop down and kill us all.
We all seem to be panicking about things on the extreme. Surely there is middle ground for all of us somewhere to meet on.
We all seem so scared. Scared about our jobs, or losing them. Scared about health care or how are we going to pay for our kids doctor’s visits. There are an amazing number of people in our country that are two income households, but they can barely afford food and paying bills.
Here’s an idea. Those of us doing well, find some good causes to support. Those of us in a position of power, help people. An old idea, but still a good one.
I feel like I’m drowning in the misery of everyone I talk to. So much fear, and uncertainty. I’ll make you all a deal. Let’s pretend to be brave. Let’s pretend we aren’t scared. Let’s act as if we know how to fix all this, and move forward. Let’s be brave together, no matter what our ideology is, let us join our metaphorical hands, and move forward together. Let’s all take a deep, cleansing breath, and believe that it will get better. Believe and act as if, sometimes that’s how it all begins to get better.
Let’s not be divided by silly stuff. Let us unite over what we all care about. Enough food on the table, enough money to pay bills, medical care for everyone, and feeling that our government is not our enemy no matter who is in office. Republican, or democrats, or Green party, or Independent, we are all Americans, and most of us have the same goals, the same desires, the same needs. United we stand, divided we fall. Don’t let the emotional manipulation of a few issues cloud the issues that most of us actually agree on.

The constitutional amendment to preserve marriage. First, I wasn’t aware that marriage was in danger of disappearing. Most of the people I know are, or have been, married. I’m sure it’s the same with you. So why, the amendment?
It isn’t about marriage, or even family values, though that’s what they are hiding behind. This amendment is about fear. It’s about distracting us with an emotional issue, so we won’t notice that the economy is in the toilet. That we all know more people out of work now, then we did before President Bush got into office. That we have lost over two hundred men and women in Iraq. (I by the way am a hawk on foreign policy matters, but if you look at history, America has never won a limited war. War is like so much in life, either do it full out, or don’t start.) And yes, I am aware that then President Clinton signed a Defense of Marriage Act in 1996 denying federal recognition to same sex marriages. But he did not propose amending the constitution. The constitution of the Untied States of America is supposed to protect the rights of its citizens, of all of its citizens, not just the ones you agree with.
This is the question for all of you? What do you think our goverment should be worrying about most? Homosexual marriage, or the economy? It seems to me that I’d rather have the goverment worrying about the economy, or maybe even the war, that who people are allowed to love. Am I over simplifying? Yes. But no more so than the people that want to pass this legislation.
Is marriage in danger? No. Is the old concept of it in danger? Yes, but not from same sex marriages. Marriage is in danger from the divorce rate in this country. Will this amendment change how divorce works in this country? Do you want it to? If they can legislate who a person can marry, by sex, then why stop there? Will it be religion next? Will the next amendment forbid marriage between Christian and Islamic, or Jewish, or Wiccan, or Quaker? Almost every amendment to the constitution has been to give us, the American people, more rights. One of the few that limited it was prohibition? Remember that one? All alcoholic beverages were illegal. That gave rise to another very American institution, organized crime. Yeah, other countries had it, even we had it, but prohibition allowed criminals to build empires. It was finally repealed, but it never worked. Why? Because we are a country that is based on freedom. Freedom to take a drink if we want one. Freedom to love who we love.
Do you want the government to be able to tell you who you can love?
They say they are protecting marriage, but marriage will be around long after this group of politicians has retired. They are looking for a scapegoat. Someone, or something to distract us from the issues. Don’t worry that so many people are out of jobs, and we are losing more every day to foreign shores. Never mind that America is in a war that most Americans are confused about. Never mind, that the deficit is bigger than when Bush came into office. All that will be fixed, if we just make same sex marriage illegal. Does any of this seem reasonable?
Is any of this going to change because two people who are in love get to marry legally, and happen to be the same gender? I don’t think so.
Funny, though, their tactic is working. Instead of wondering where our jobs are going, how do we afford a doctor’s visit for our sick child, now people are debating homosexuality, and living in sin. Because you must be legally married to be protected under this act, so living together without marriage is about to go back to being a sin in America. Legally.
Let me just quote some of President Bush’s remarks, “Marriage cannot be severed from it’s cultural, religious, and natural roots.” separation of church and state, what happened to that?
Quoting again, “America is a free society, which limits the role of government in the lives of our citizens.” Really.
For the first time in American history, most people in the middle class, believe that their children will not have a better life than they do. Shouldn’t that be the issue. Shouldn’t that be what the current President is most concerned with? Shouldn’t it?
Vote no on amending our constitution. Vote no on limiting any of our rights as a free people in the primary elections in your state. For most of you, it will be this up-coming week. All of you who feel safe; white, Anglo-Saxon, Christian, male; remember this. Once we amend the constitution to take away the rights of any of our people, it opens the door to amend it again, and take away more rights. If you vote yes, for this amendment, then you cannot complain in a few years when they take away our right to bear arms. You think they won’t, just because you vote Republicans back in office. All it will take is a majority of their polled voters, their demographics that they want, to say, no guns. They will promise you anything right now. They want to be elected. But later, they’ll want to be elected again. If you vote to limit other people’s rights, then do you deserve to have anything less done to your rights?
This country stands on a very slippery slope. We are one vote away from opening up the Constitution of the United States of America, to begin to limit our freedom.
I do not always agree with people, and how they live, or how they worship, but I will fight for their right to live and worship the way they see fit. Because America is about freedom. Or at least that was what I was taught in school. Was I taught wrongly? Is America now more about fear than freedom. Do most Americans fear others that are not like them, more than they value their own freedom?
America, land of the free, home of the brave. Sounds good, doesn’t it. America, land of hatred, home of the coward. They are counting on you hating homosexuality more than you value anything else. Do they know their demographics? Are they right? Do you hate someone else, more than you value your own freedom? Vote, no, not because you agree with the lifestyle, but because America is about freedom, and this amendment is about fear. Be brave, and send a message that the American people are not afraid to let everyone in this country be free.

It’s a great day for writing.  Woke to thunder and lightning, and then the deluge.  A stormy, rainy day, dark and drear.  I’ve always loved days like this.  The sound of the rain has always been a comforting sound for me.  I’m not always as fond of storms, but this morning it was a good sign.  I’m writing a scene with Mistral today.  Mistral is a French word for wind, or a particular kind of wind.  Some of you may remember him from the end of the last Merry book, Seduced by Moonlight.  He is the master of storms, a sky god, stripped of most of his power.  The scene for today sees him coming back into some of that lost power, in the midst of a storm.  I’m planning on writing about lightning and thunder and rain and wind; and I wake up to three out of four.  It’s a fairly still day.  The rain coming mostly straight down in heavy sheets.  The dogs were soaked when they came back inside from the yard.
A good day to stay inside and write.  A bad day for the commute to an outside the house job.  The morning radio was full of accidents.  St. Louis gets a lot of weather, but still most of the people try to drive the speed limit in the rain.  You’ve got to slow down in the rain.  It’s slippery.  Everybody stay safe out there.
Gotta go.  I have a storm to write.  Making love by the flash of lightning, so that your bodies go in and out of focus, and what is shadow and what is light, changes magically, constantly.  Until you’re not sure what you’re really seeing, and what is only imagination. 

Okay.  I’ve had a little break.  Jonathon has helped me lick my wounds.  The dragon does not get to win.  I have recovered my flag from the field of battle, and tomorrow is another day.  As long as you don’t give up, you don’t lose, and the other guy doesn’t win.  Whether dragon, ogre, or your own personal inner struggles. 
Jonathon, Trinity, and I watched “Fruits Basket”(a delightful anime), while we had dinner.  It’s almost impossible to stay grumpy after watching an episode or two.  The main character makes Pollyanna look like a pessimist.  Combine that with cute guys, some truly wonderful characters, and real character development, safe for the whole family, and you can’t beat it with a stick, and why would you want to?   
I’m going to bed now.  Peace, and for those that choose to take that as a political statement, don’t.  Good night, pleasant dreams, be safe. 

Hey.  Eight pages yesterday.  Cool.  But only three today.  I got seven pages of notes, but I don’t count notes.  Notes aren’t pages that will stay in the book, and what stays is what counts. 
Obviously, I have not yet hit my stride on this book.  I mean twenty-four pages, eight, then three, oh, and a day of one in there on Saturday.  I’m all over the board, which means I’m still struggling.  It’s just struggling with a higher page count, and I’m happy with the pages I’ve got.  They’re good pages.  I’m just frustrated by the stop and go pattern.  Maybe I should dig out my calendar with the last Merry book on it and see if this far in I was still pages off on my count.  Maybe, I was.  Oh, well.  Gotta go do something else.  There are days when I can force myself to do more pages, and there are days when I know it’s not going to work.  Today, the dragon wins. 

Hi all,

I’m trying out a new piece of software.  It is a voice recognition dictation software, and sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t.
It seems to have trouble with my voice sometimes and sometimes not.  I don’t know what the difference is between when it works and when it doesn’t.  One if I could tell it would change my speech patterns so that I wouldn’t have this problem but since I don’t know what the problem is…  I can’t fix it.

Here’s hoping I can get disputed software to work.

Tired today.  But I don’t regret the pages yesterday.  I wrote until I was the rush left me.  If I had tried to stop it prematurely, the scene wouldn’t have flowed right.  No regrets, but damn I’m tired.  I have finally dragged my butt into work after five in the afternoon.  Late, very late for me to begin work.
I’ve decided no page count today, just see what I can get done.  Just keep the flow going.  That’s it.  The only goal for the day.  Though it means there will be a page count tomorrow, when I was going to give myself Sunday off.  Oh, well.  Trinity is with her father this weekend, and I need to make pages while we’re a kid-free zone.    Why don’t I take today off instead, you ask?  Because I promised myself progress today, and I will have some progress.  Never break a promise to yourself.  Never.   Not on anything large or small.  Keep your word to everybody, but especially to yourself.  So many of us seem to treat ourselves as less deserving of courtesy and kindness than strangers.  Don’t short change yourself.  Even if I get only a page or two today, I will have done what I said I’d do. 
Truthfully, part of the problem today is where I left off yesterday in the story line.  The last chapter ended with the promise of sex, and today I have to deliver.  I believe, sincerely, that having sex in person is easier (not less fraught with emotional and physical difficulties) but easier to communicate to another human being.  When you run your finger tips tickling light across someone’s skin, they feel it.  You don’t have to worry that they don’t understand what you’ve done.  Why you’ve done it in real life is often a puzzlement, but not what.  On paper, you have only words.  Only words to convey the wondrous sensations that play through the body during foreplay and sex.  Words are great, but they are no replacement for actual tactile sensation.  And on this one, a picture is not worth a thousand words, not really.  Even visual images don’t convey what you experience first hand.  Don’t even get me started on pornographic films.  I find them, almost without expectation, to fall far, far short of real sex.  I think it’s because I have this attitude that there’s got to be some emotional impact to sex, and most porn just doesn’t seem to care about emotion, or personal relationships.  A friend of mine says that I make things too important.  I think coming together physically should be important, or why the heck are you doing it?  But that’s just me.  Opinions vary.
I think one of the reasons that Merry is harder to write for me than Anita, is that Merry’s attitude towards sex is different from mine.  Not more causal.  She’s usually got life and physical safety of those nearest and dearest to her on the line.  No not more causal, but different.  I wanted Merry’s culture to see sex as something beautiful, with no sin attached.  I manage to write it on paper, but I am from a back ground where the message that sex was dirty, men were evil, and our bodies were bad, was ground into me.  Gee, can you imagine what I’d write if I’d been raised to believe that sex was wonderful, men weren’t the villains, and naked is just the way God made us?  A very different world indeed.
I’ve put Nine Inch Nails in the CD player (Downward Spiral).  It’s often Merry’s hard music.  As opposed to A YEAR WITH FROG AND TOAD, which seems to be A STROKE OF MIDNIGHT’s Christmas music.  It does have a Christmas song on it, but it’s just the music that makes me feel good even when I feel bad. 
I’m going to go try and put the right words on paper, to explain an experience that is so terribly personal.  So easy to write, his hand cupped my breast, but making a reader feel what those words mean . . . That’s the hard part. 

I just reread the blog I wrote, and it wasn’t until I was actually downstairs talking to  Trinity and Jonathon that I realized I needed to add something.  Twenty pages is my maximum a day, and eight is my minimum, so that means there must be an average, right?  Between ten and fifteen pages is about average.  Most books. 
I am now going to go do something that has nothing to do with my work, and everything to do with my family and friends.  Bye again.