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Well we’ve almost survived another season. A season of frantic shopping. We bought months ahead for Trinity because at that time she was very into Barbie Fairytopia. So we bought the dolls ahead of time. Finished, pretty much. Right? Wrong. All you parents out there see this coming, don’t you? She’s ten, you’d think I’d not do this again, but . . . By early December she wasn’t into the Fairytopia, she wanted Groovy girls. But Gary, my ex, took her to Breakfast with Santa this year, so he was the one that knew what she wanted. But he had no idea that Jon and I had already bought stuff. In fairness, how could he have known. It’s certainly not typical of me when I was married to him to be ahead of the game plan for Christmas. I’ve been a last minute shopper for years. I’m trying to get over that, but this year, Winter Solstice came, and Jon and I went, what, when, how? Just once I’d like to be done with my book deadline before the holidays get really serious.
So, we, including Grandma Mary, have frantically searched for Groovy girl stuff. Even on line there are no more Groovy unicorns to go with the carriage and princess. We have the throne. Trinity asked Santa for two new Groovy girls and a bunk bed. We have one bunk bed, and when Mary found it, purchased it, the man that came in seconds later for the same item, looked at the bed in her bag, and she told him, “It’s mine.” Groovy girls are cool. I like them. They don’t wear thong underwear like some of the Bratz dolls. I’m sorry, my daughter is ten, I do not want her asking for clothes to match her doll, that includes lingerie. The Groovy girl stuff is really neat, but why on God’s green earth, are they this popular this year. Last year I was able to buy stuff up until the last minute for my friend’s child. But not this year. Sigh.
And may I complain that most of the dolls out there look like they ran away from a Nazi pre-school. You know, most of us aren’t blond and blue-eyed. Honest. So why are most of the dolls? It has gotten better in the last ten years. The first year that Trinity was old enough for a doll, really old-enough, there was almost nothing in the local Toys-R-Us but blue-eyed blonds. It’s much better now. We have some brunettes, some red-heads, some brown eyes, and some dolls that look like pale is not their natural color. Progress. And please don’t think I’m picking on Toys-R-Us, they are far ahead of the curve here in the mid-west. I’m told it’s a little more even on the coasts. But I don’t live there, so I don’t get to see it. Toys-R-Us are one of the few places where you can get good-quality toys all year long. A lot of the department stores, or big stores, stock stuff closer to Christmas, but their selection sucks compared to Toys-R-Us. My hats off to anyone working any toy store right now. Oh, heck, anyone who works retail should be up for a medal. Maybe the candy cane cross just for surviving this joyful time of year.
If you detect a note of Scrooge in me, well, yeah. Anyone who got the Christmas card from the fan club will know that I anticipated this mood. I’m wearing my new favorite shirt, black with red lettering that says, “If I wanted your opinion I’d read your entrails.” My cup for the day is one I bought around Halloween. It’s black with white letter that says, “Eat, Drink, and be Scary.” I’m finally come to the point in the book where I’m listening to Christmas music. It’s bad when I’m listening to Christmas music while I work. Even on Christmas Eve, it is not a good sign. What am I listening to? Dean Martin, MAKING SPIRITS BRIGHT.
Yeah, it’s pretty sad when I’ve got Deano crooning on the player.
Keep your spirits bright, your anger down, and may you enjoy your holiday as much as you’re able. No fist fights over toys, okay. You think I’m joking? I worked in a mall the year that Cabbage Patch dolls were at their hottest. I’ve worked retail. I’ve been in the trenches. Remember as you buy your stuff that the person across the counter, the person helping answer your questions has answered this question a million times already. They’ve checked out people who threw things at them. My assistant manager got hit in the face by a customer, and it wasn’t even about Cabbage Patch dolls. So, everybody play nice, and remember that a smile and a kind word can go a long way this time of year, especially to those that are trying so hard to help us find that perfect Christmas gift. Ho, ho, ho.