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I’ve written this blog twice, and you don’t get to see either of them. My head’s gone too dark to share on the blog. Hell, it’s too dark except for a very short list of people. My husband knows, and my friend Shawn, but for the rest, even my closest friends, I don’t think they want to know how deep the wound, how dark the mood, how black the prospect. I feel like I’m a burden to them in this mood. Not fit company for man nor’ beast.

So what do you do when your mood is black, and you feel crushed under the burden of it all? I got on the treadmill for forty-five minutes it’s the longest I’ve managed since my ankle went funky on me. The treadmill helped me feel a little more human, and a little less dead. Then a bath, which is always a good thing. Then Jon, Trinity, me, and our friend, Richard, all went out to see the new Mummy movie. We enjoyed it. It wasn’t high art, but then, we didn’t expect it to be. It was fun, and exciting, and things blew up in a fun and cinematic way. We got to see Jet Li fight, and the movie was pretty much made for me when Brendan Fraser took his shirt off, and made out, a little, with his wife. (I’ve had a crush on Fraser since George of the Jungle, though I hear he’s really, really tall, like 6’ 4", or 5", if that is true, then he’s over my height prefence, but no one’s perfect.) I liked the plot idea of their son being all grown up and the changing of the guard. There are a lot of impossibilities in the movie, and don’t poke too hard at the logic, just go and have fun. I had fun, and that was what I needed.

Tomorrow I’m going to finish up some comic work that languished on my desk today. No more of that. I will pull my head out of my ass, and stop letting the monsters in my head win. There are days when the only way to stay ahead of the monsters is to keep moving. Tomorrow I move, both mentally and physically. Move, or die, like some kind of shark, though I heard that wasn’t true. That sharks having to move to live is an old wise tale. I’m sure I could look it up on the internet right now, and find several conflicting opinons, but I’m going to bed instead. Hopefully, a little sleep will help keep the darkness contained. Tomorrow is another day. If you’re an optimist, it means the day is all bright and shiny with no mistakes in it. If you’re a pessimist, it means it’s another chance to fuck things up. If you’re a realist, it means that some mistakes out live the day, and you’ll still be dealing with them tomorrow, but not sleeping won’t make them any less real, so you might as well sleep. Guess which flavor I am?