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Dawn Chorus
I did not sleep well, at all, last night. I’m still sick from the virus and sinus infection that I caught sometime last month, which went undiagnosed. Yes, I went to the doctor. I’ve slept most of the last few days. So much, in fact, apparently I can’t sleep anymore. My mind is too full of ideas, goals, things I need to do so other people can do their job to keep resting. I made myself sleep until 5 AM, but after that I allowed myself to get up and start getting dressed. If I felt wretched, then I’d go back to bed, but if I could manage it I wanted to be up.
In the bathroom as I dressed, I could hear the dawn chorus of the birds at their spring best, that spurred me on, energized me. Now, of course, the energy is ebbing and I’ve got a fine tremble in my arms as I type this, so perhaps not the smartest thing I’ve done, but . . . I called circle to the music of the birds in a choir all around me through the open windows. The cool, spring air is still caressing my bare legs in the skirt I’m wearing. I’m wearing orange and black for Halloween colors, which makes me smile, and because orange is the color for the navel chakra, and I’m wearing citrine set in gold, because those are colors that are good for the solar plexus chakra. These two chakras have been depleted, or blocked for weeks and now I know why. Sometimes I can keep pushing on sheer will power and guts, but eventually I pay the price, this illness is that price, but I push, that’s who I am. I push myself and I push those around me, not push them around, but I always want the best for and from those closest to me either in my personal life, or business. I want us all to be happy and to be the best possible us we can be, I don’t apologize for that, it’s who I am. Never apologize for who you are if it works for you and is your true self.
I called circle and entered sacred space with the moon still shining overhead in a veil of clouds, and the spring air soft on my skin, every bird in the neighborhood singing their hearts out like a blessing in the air, and darkness still thick enough that I had to light my candles carefully in the dark, so I didn’t trip over our three small dogs. For those who don’t know, I was lighting a candle for each element – earth, air, fire, and water. I also light a candle for spirit, and then invoke God and Goddess. If you haven’t guessed, I’m Wiccan, some of us use the term witch, but I do not. I find the word is too dramatic for most of the people here in the Bible belt and explaining that our path of faith is Wiccan, as they are Christian, or Jewish, or Muslim, works better than other terms. Some words are hard to separate from their past associations like witch, or inquisition.
The three small dogs were very happy that I was up and wanting to come over to the office and meditation area. They know they get treats and which drawer they’re kept in, and if they were bigger dogs they would so have had it opened and burgled months ago. I’ve caught our two Japanese chins, Keiko and Mordor, worrying at it, and trying with mouth and paws to open it. Our pug, Sasquatch, awaits his orders when they need muscle, like ramming doors that will not open. It’s given him his umpteenth nickname of Rhino. Sometimes Rhino finds doors too solidly closed and you hear a thump, and he staggers himself, but mostly he gets the doors in the older parts of the house to open, but most doors open promptly by their human staff, if they’re allowed in that room at that time.
I watched the first glow like a cut in the darkness that allowed the light to seep through, and then dawn spread in a pink, mauve, purple, lavender neon extravaganza lighting up the eastern sky just behind my eastern candle and I was able to greet the light, praise God and Goddess, though dawn always feels more feminine to me. I asked for their help in healing, and being positive while I healed, and finding the lessons that I’m supposed to be learning during all of it.
Now, the dogs are over with our daughter Trinity, who’s job it is to feed them, and I’m left to bird song and the first sounds of my neighbors rising for their days. The sun is a visible ball of fire through the trees like an orang-yellow spotlight and the sky is soft blue with clouds. I’m finishing the first tea of the day in my new chipmunk mug, and feel better than I’ve felt in two weeks. I can see the two silkie bantam hens grooming and searching for insects in the grass of their yard, and I am feeling all together domestic and biology loving, and that always makes me want to write. For those who are new to my books, or who know me only through the mirror of my books, you will find more about nature and animals in my blog and personal musings than violence, sex, vampires, or werewolves, or wereanything. I work in a world that is incredibly violent, but I try not to live there. I need the other sides of myself to nurture the parts that are drawn to the violence, and as for sex, I still haven’t decided how much of that to put here, or anywhere on line. I simply can’t decide my comfort level, so I leave it alone for the most part in these personal writings. If I find my comfort level at some point that may change, but for now there will be more of writing, ornithology, faith, and puppies in my blog than sex and sadism. If that isn’t what you want there are other writers that seem more than happy to share their most intimate details with you, or share the intimate details of others, but I am not one of them. I still feel that intimate reality is a gift to be shared with those who actually get to see you naked on purpose for happy nefariousness, not something to simple titilate and tease for more readership. Which is weird since I put more details in my books during the sex scenes than pretty much anyone out there, but that’s my fiction, and I’m comfortable with that. Don’t get me wrong, I love sex, but sharing my personal sexual details with the world, still not sure that’s a good idea, so – more of blossoms, than blow jobs, in my blog. Yes, that is a tortured reference to Dickens.
Now, I hear crows and they’re letting me know they’ve found a hawk, or perhaps the fledgling great horned owl that our pair raised this year, and I want to see what they’ve found. It sounds more like their, “We’ve found an owl, than we’ve found a hawk,”. Grabbing my binoculars . . . owl!
13 thoughts on “Dawn Chorus”
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Thoughthe details in your book are quite exciting, I like that it is fantasy. Keep personal, personal. Hug those memories and joy close to yourself and leave us in the dark.
That was beautiful. Really made my evening. Thanks
Thank you Ms. Hamilton for letting us non famous people feel like we are so much a part of your life. You make me feel like you’re very approachable. I know everyone that leaves comments tells you that they love your books, but I’m going to say it too:) I love your books:) I am starting to be drawn more and more to Wicca though I know nothing about it, really. Can you offer me some suggestions on what to read to learn more about it? Thank you, again, for making yourself so approachable:)
Kathy Dilley
This is amazing, and I did not have a clue prior to now that you were wiccan. Its such a beautiful spirituality/practice/faith. I hope you heal and feel better soon. and the dawn is such a beautiful time. The birds trilling and the sight of them, the glow of the candle and the power of the circle. *hug* its beautiful and…I envy you. That majesty and freedom and view etc…just wow.
Get well and feel better soon.
Blessed be and may the stars watch over you.
While I can appreciate the need for lots of words to express everything that’s on your mind, could you please put an extra line break between paragraphs? Long paragraphs + lack of separation between them + white text on dark background = headaches and vision problems for some of us. And since the spaces between paragraphs only need an extra stroke of the enter key, it’s the easiest thing to ask for.
Although the white text on a slightly-off-white background in the comment form is rather puzzling – how are we supposed to see what we’re typing?
As a reader, I often wonder what the person behind the words must be like. As you note, your books are often full of sex and violence. The details are incredible, and wonderful, but I’m glad they’re fiction instead of shared private moments. For someone curious about the person, it is your sharing of your personal outlook, your approach to the world that I find most interesting. I appreciate keenly the filter of personal vs. public. You walk a thin line with it, but I think keeping some secrets is much better than displaying every detail for the world. In my experience, oversharing is a form of vulgarity. I would probably not feel compelled to write at all if every detail were out there on the net.
I also want to thank you for something abstract, but still a balancing act. In my experience in the pagan community, too many allow themselves to fall down the rabbit hole of spiritual/magical exploration to the exclusion of daily life. The nuts and bolts get lost and neglected. Things like paying the bills and getting the car an oil change somehow become far less important than the next circle or card reading. I have watched wonderful spiritual people hamstring themselves in life because they could not keep a foot in each world without one dominating their awareness. As a professional who happens to be pagan, I get frustrated by watching that pattern. I want people to be successful, happy, and well. I will admit I also dislike the idea that a group I identify with is mostly lacking direction, motivation, or focus. You inspire me by being someone who identifies within the pagan spectrum who is also driven and successful. Hopefully more pagan folk will discover it is possible to be of both worlds.
I doubt the opportunity will arise, but I truly wish I could sit and chat with you in the real world. I say that with the giant disclaimer that I have no creep tendencies, just a deep appreciation for your apparently similar outlook on the world to my own. I don’t see that as often as I’d like! Thank you for putting so much good into the world through your work.
It has been a long time since I could sleep quietly through the night. Ive almost forgotten how beautiful the early morning can be.
For a long time I have moved away from worship in its many forms, in part because I don’t much care for fanatics of any flavor but also because there was a constant pressure from the people around me to label myself. If I do this one thing I must be this or if I do that other thing I must be something else…I have longed for another person to connect with in a spiritual manner but it seems my area is deprived of those individuals that are willing or capable of doing so without being malicious.
Perhaps it is time I return to my candles, herbs and crystals. <3
Bravo, what words…, a remarkable idea
I’m delighted to read anything you care to share with us fans and appreciate your thoughts at whatever leI’m delighted to read anything you care to share with us fans and appreciate your thoughts at whatever level of intimacy you care to make of your insights and revelations. (soft smile)
I enjoyed spending your morning with you very much. Even your blog creates a world of wonder so detailed that a person can step into it with you and experience it through your eyes. I’m hearing-impaired but I still ‘heard’ the birdsong and the rustle of feathers, ‘saw’ the birth of morning, ‘felt’ the charm of your puppy-friends and the pull of the moon, ‘tasted’ the warmth of healing tea with you, and sent the request for a blessing to you via the Goddess and Her Consort.
But we are not entitled to pry into matters you choose not to discuss and there are boundaries that should not be intruded upon. We all have those personal boundaries and I fail to see how being a famous author abrogates any of those particular human privacies. vel of intimacy you care to make of your insights and revelations. (soft smile)
I enjoyed spending your morning with you very much. Even your blog creates a world of wonder so detailed that a person can step into it with you and experience it through your eyes. I’m hearing-impaired but I still ‘heard’ the birdsong and the rustle of feathers, ‘saw’ the birth of morning, ‘felt’ the charm of your puppy-friends and the pull of the moon, ‘tasted’ the warmth of healing tea with you, and sent the request for a blessing to you via the Goddess and Her Consort.
But we are not entitled to pry into matters you choose not to discuss and there are boundaries that should not be intruded upon. We all have those personal boundaries and I fail to see how being a famous author abrogates any of those particular human privacies. I’m delighted to read anything you care to share with us fans and appreciate your thoughts at whatever level of intimacy you care to make of your insights and revelations. (soft smile)
I enjoyed spending your morning with you very much. Even your blog creates a world of wonder so detailed that a person can step into it with you and experience it through your eyes. I’m hearing-impaired but I still ‘heard’ the birdsong and the rustle of feathers, ‘saw’ the birth of morning, ‘felt’ the charm of your puppy-friends and the pull of the moon, ‘tasted’ the warmth of healing tea with you, and sent the request for a blessing to you via the Goddess and Her Consort.
But we are not entitled to pry into matters you choose not to discuss and there are boundaries that should not be intruded upon. We all have those personal boundaries and I fail to see how being a famous author abrogates any of those particular human privacies. I’m delighted to read anything you care to share with us fans and appreciate your thoughts at whatever level of intimacy you care to make of your insights and revelations. (soft smile)
I enjoyed spending your morning with you very much. Even your blog creates a world of wonder so detailed that a person can step into it with you and experience it through your eyes. I’m hearing-impaired but I still ‘heard’ the birdsong and the rustle of feathers, ‘saw’ the birth of morning, ‘felt’ the charm of your puppy-friends and the pull of the moon, ‘tasted’ the warmth of healing tea with you, and sent the request for a blessing to you via the Goddess and Her Consort.
But we are not entitled to pry into matters you choose not to discuss and there are boundaries that should not be intruded upon. We all have those personal boundaries and I fail to see how being a famous author abrogates any of those particular human privacies.
I love that your blog is about things other than the same things that are in your books. It’s made it possible to see another side beside just what you put into Merry and Anita. And I actually appreciate that you don’t put real life sex stories in your blog. I believe myself that that is your business. and Not for us to know, I think I would feel awkward if I was to read real life sex adventures of yours lol. And take it easy and get other the virus soon. I know how that is, I was sick with one for a month and a half and that was even after seeing the doctor twice.
I, too, love that your blog is about life and the trivialities of everyday life. I love the world of Anita Blake and her band of (very sexy) misfits, but hearing about your life and knowing that you’re just like the rest of us, your loyal readers, is a comfort, as well. Sometimes, a bit of normalcy is needed in all of the literary chaos, I think.
I am sorry to hear that you’re ill, though. 🙁 I know what it’s like to have chakras out of balance; I hope that you are feeling better soon! You might try eating raw garlic to help with that virus. I like to mince it and then make chicken soup, throwing in the garlic at the very last minute. It still stays mostly raw, thus keeping the nutrients, but the soup definitely lessens the sharpness of it.
Feel better soon! Sending good energy your way!
Love and Light,
Nikole
So for whatever reason I feel compelled to write this to you today. You have not blogged in a little over a month and while I miss them I also understand how busy you must be. The thing sticking out in my mind the most right now is that a lot of times I read fans comment about how they wish you would change, alter, remove, add this/that when writing about Anita or Merry. It’s bugged me for sometime. I guess what I am trying to say is that … I don’t want to read, learn about, or get to know Anita or Merry thru anybodys eyes, heart, and soul but YOURS. Change anything … and it wouldn’t be a Laurell K. Hamilton creation. I love the way you advance the storyline, the characters, their powers, struggles, and discoveries. The sex, violence, mystery … it’s all perfect.
It’s all YOU. I know people tell you all the time how much they love your works. For myself I have gone thru 5 complete hardback sets of everything you have ever written. There isn’t any point in time I am not reading about Anita and Merry over and over and over and over again. I hope this month of May finds you in better health and completely renewed. You are such a very special and wonderful person. Please …. don’t change anything unless it comes from within you to do so. Have a blessed day my friend, my idol, and my constant companion.
I always love reading your blog. It is nice knowing you’re a normal person just like everyone else. One doesn’t always get that with people who are in the spot light. Thank you for sharing your life with us.