News

I was having one of those days yesterday where you question why you aren’t out there researching a cure for cancer, solving real murders, or trying to find a solution for the middle eastern violence. Most days I’m fine, but every once in awhile when things have been stressful, I question my role in the grand scheme of things. Do you guys do that?
Then I heard about Gary Gygax, the creator of Dungeons and Dragons, dieing at the age of 69. First, I was surprised that he was close to 70, that seemed wrong, somehow, that the ultimate gamer had grown old.
I remember the first time I played D & D in high school. It was damn near a conversion experience, I don’t mean religion, but that moment that you find something that just fills up a piece of you that was empty before. There is certainly a God, or Goddess, shaped hole in each of us. (All you atheists out there just puzzle me, so sorry.) But there are also other needs, not just wants, but needs. Something about D & D filled a need for me. We’d be sitting in someones basement or living room, or even kitchen, but the inside of our heads were somewhere else. Somewhere that had orcs, elves, dragons, and dozens of other fantastical creatures and people that never existed here around the kitchen table, or the basement sofa. For most of us, gaming helped us find friends, a place to belong, and like every good hobby, it gave us something to think about besides homework and not fitting in. For those few hours, we all belonged. We all worked as a team (okay all you evil campaigners, at least be lawful evil, that way there’s some cooperation), and we adventured together to the kind of places we could only read about in books. The reading was great, and most of the gamers I knew were voracious readers, but reading is a solitary act, and D & D let us do out loud in a group what was usually private and alone. D & D is the bookworm’s triathlon.
My first book NIGHTSEER, grew out of a campaign I Dungeon Mastered (I know it’s Game Master now, but I’m old school and it will always be DM, to me). Alright the book grew out of my frustration with my gaming group. They just wouldn’t cooperate in this great world I’d created for them. Finally one of the guys said, “Fine, then go write it as a book, and stop trying to use it as a campaign.” He was absolutely right. It would take me about four more years to actually get the courage up to try and write a book, but would I have thought of it, if I hadn’t tried to fit my world into the world of D & D? I don’t know.
My grandmother hated that I played. She didn’t think it was a suitable occupation for a girl. Years later when my first book came out and it was magic, elves, and dragons, she apologized to me. “How was I supposed to know it would be so important to you?” The apology was nice to hear, and if you knew my grandmother, you’d value it for the truly rare moment it was.
I went to a Christian college, because it was the only one close enough to home for me to commute. But on the campus you didn’t dare confess to reading fantasy or science fiction and playing D & D was considered Satanic worship. No, really, no joke, I had that said to my face. So all of us that gamed kept it pretty quiet, just safer that way. My first husband and I fell in love partially because we both played. I still remember the day we admitted to each other that we were both “evil” and played D & D. We actually gamed with the same group eventually through late college. We had two groups in California after college and it was pretty much our social network.
Do I game now? No. I’ve tried, but whatever part of the mind is used and happy during gaming, is the same part that writes for me. So after a full day at the desk making books, I don’t find it relaxing to game. It’s like finishing a marathon and being told you have to run just a few more miles.
Jon and I tried to game together, but I’ve grown too cautious. I’m the person who carries that extra twenty feet of rope, and a host of poles, so I can tie it all together and poke at things. My longest living character, Sidon the Cautious, well, I chose the Sidon part, but my high school gaming group chose the latter. Sidon retired at 11th level and took ship to far lands, the only survivor, when the rest of my gaming group rolled evil characters and the DM lost control on that whole assassination problem.
So on the day when I was wondering if what I did for a living actually mattered, I was reminded how much what Gary Gygax created meant to me. Is it an exaggeration to say that I found my career, my first love, and good friends through D & D? Maybe, but if it’s not absolutely true, then it’s close, so thank you Gary Gygax. Thanks to you and everyone that helped make your vision real to the rest of us.