News

Goodness, I don’t think any blog has generated as much mail as the one on being part of a herd. First we heard from those who are not a part of a herd, or a part of the wrong herd would be more accurate. Now we are hearing from those who are herd members and resent the implications. So let me be a bit more clear.
Nothing wrong with being part of the herd as long as that is where you belong and you want to be a part of it. It is when we try to pretend to belong and struggle to fit, or the herd tells you you should and it is not you or your place, that it is wrong. I suspect the herd is actually far smaller than it appears. Too many folks spend their lives unhappy trying to be a part of a herd because they think they should. If what your doing is causing no harm, then be yourself. If that means running with the herd, wonderful! But if it is causing you pain then split off and find the group you should be with. Life is too short to spend it unhappy or pretending to be whom you are not.
The majority of a herd, is content. They are happy to be there, happy to have those around who are just like them. Safety in numbers and all that. And that is a good thing, to feel safe and happy. But for every herd, there is a small number who probably don’t really belong to that herd. They are unhappy (I suspect they are in the herd because they think they should be, not because they want to be) and use that unhappiness to try and hurt others. That is wrong. If someone is not hurting anyone else, then they should be left to follow their own path. Not made to feel guilty, or wrong in some fashion for not sharing the herds ideas and values.
That was the point. If your trapped in a herd then life is truly miserable. If your spouting the herd line and using it to batter others, that is really wrong. People need to realize that it is okay to be different. Different doesn’t mean wrong or bad necessarily.
The truly scary ones are the herd leaders who play on the fears of those in their herd and encourage them to harm others because they are different. In the movie The American President, the last few minutes the president is giving a speech, and he talks about how you win elections. By telling people that others are responsible for their unhappiness. You point a finger at those who do not share the herds ideals and tell them you would be happy if it weren’t for those people, over there. Them, it is there fault. Life would be better if those people would disappear or join the herd.
The fact is it is not true. Nor would life be nearly so interesting if they did. Diversity is a part of who we are. Sameness is an illusion. We feel safer if we think we know what the rest of the world is doing. If we think they are just like us. Well, not everyone shares the same ideals, not everyone wears the same clothes, spouts the same lines or follows the same religion. Different doesn’t mean wrong. It really doesn’t. Too long that has been used by those who are want to be a power, petty people with delusions, frightened people who fear others. So they convince the herd that the those outside it are somehow to blame. It leads to fear and hatred and violence. And it is so unneccessary.
Is there anyone who wasn’t looked down on by another group in school? Who wasn’t made to feel less in some ways because they didn’t fit some other groups ideals of what they should be? Wasn’t bullied or picked on, made fun of for being different? It is the whole problem magnified. You think as adults it would disappear, but it doesn’t.
Herds are fine. Just find the one you belong too. Find the one that makes you feel good about who you are and doesn’t feel the need to make others feel like less because they are different, one that doesn’t believe in harming others for not being members. Find your herd. Find yourself. Be proud of who you are. And when you run across a member of another herd, try smiling at them. You might be surprised to find you have more in common than you think.