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I am doing one of the hardest things I ever do, right now. I am trying not to work. Oh, yeah, I’m writing a blog, which is technically work, but I’m not working on the next Merry book. I promised myself and my muse that we would get a break. We would truly take some time off to explore and renew ourselves. But it’s day two of being back from tour and I’m getting antsy. I’m much easier to live with when I’m working, because like most work-aholics, I don’t quite know what to do with myself when I’m not working. Work, for me, means making pages.
I actually gave in on one of the plane rides on tour and started the beginning of Merry #7. Just the beginning. Charles caught me at it on the plane. He knew I wasn’t supposed to work, and he chided me for it. My explanation was that when all else fails with my phobia that nothing helps distract me like my own writing. Reading other people’s work doesn’t cut through the fear or take me away from it half as well as my own creation. I guess it’s just more all consuming. I did less than a page then felt better. See. But we get on a plane tomorrow, again, for more business.
It’s a research trip to try and firm up some of the details for Jason’s home town. When Edward chose a place to live, he was very insistent. Which meant he knew exactly what he wanted. Pushy, but easier to work with. Jason is less dictatorial, so we had some vague push from him. Okay, he actually liked some place that is now got snow. I bargained with my imaginary friend, and he acquiesced to some place a little warmer. Yea! But, now I’m having doubts. Doubts that I’ve talked him out of where he wanted to be from. Doubts, that I won’t step off the plane and see what I need to see. What I’m wanting is that magical moment when I stepped off the plane in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and I knew Edward had been right. One of the reasons I don’t argue as much with my imaginary friends as some writers do, is that I’m not entirely certain how the process works. It’s mysterious even to me. So, I’m already worried I’ve screwed up by manipulating Jason into picking a new town. Jon assures me it will be all right. I’ve been looking through the books we got on the area. It will be fine. Really. But I don’t believe it. It may have something to do with the whole plane again tomorrow.
Oh, and the fact that I don’t see cleaning up a dozen things on my desk that were waiting for us to get off tour as real work is just me. I’ve got foreign contracts to go over, comic stuff, and notes on BLOOD NOIR, which is the Jason book. I’m making a list and checking it twice, because we’ll only have seven days to do the research and get back to St. Louis. seven days seems to be the magic space for me with research. Sometimes you’ll need more, but it’s about the right on the ground time. When we do the follow up for Edward in New Mexico, we may need more because of some of the choreography of the fight scenes. But that’s several Anita books down the road, not to mention Merry books. So, let’s not borrow trouble, eh?
Okay, that’s enough of what I’m doing today. What follows is the blog about Halloween, as promised.
A lot of people asked, if we went home for Halloween. Yes, of course we did. Trinity still thinks we’re cool enough to trick or treat with, and until that changes we’re home for the holiday. As Wiccan’s it’s also a major religious holiday, and is the official end of the year for us. This year, because of tour it didn’t seem so much that. I think it’s one of the things I like least about touring in October, it just seems to interfere with the celebration. We were home, and we got to do the normal trick or treat, but there wasn’t a lot of energy left over for anything else. Too tired.
But the kiddo was with us, and that’s what counts. This year she was Botan (what is that name) from Yu Yu Hakusho For those of you not into Aime, Botan is a Japanese grim reaper that happens to look like a cute girl with silver hair, wear a kimono, and ride around on a boat paddle. Cultural differences, I guess.
Also, we couldn’t possibly keep Charles away from his very own kiddos. It’s a holiday for being with your family. I learned that lesson when Trinity was about five or maybe, even four. I went to WORLD FANTASY CONVENTION. It was in California that year. This was back when I didn’t have the Merry series, and though the Anita books were doing well, they weren’t the amazing success they are now. So, I went to do business. A nice, sane, grown-up thing to do. Right? Right. Except, that, that year Trinity was Dorothy from THE WIZARD OF OZ, and her friend Melissa, my friend Joan’s daughter, was Glenda the Good Witch. I was still with my first husband, Gary, and he promised, and Joan, promised, to take pictures and video. It was just one Halloween, right?
The video camera broke. The film was mysteriously ruined. Back when cameras weren’t digital, so there was no saving it. I got not a single picture of the two girls in their outfits. I did a lot of business while I was at the convention. Good, solid, business, that would eventually lead to the Merry series being what it is today. I can’t regret the business I did, or the time I spent with my friend Deborah Millitello, who went with me on the trip. We had a great time, and got to do some girl bonding without anyone but us, which in our nearly twenty years of friendship is still rare. But I still regret not seeing my little girl as Dorothy, or Melissa as the good witch.
I took that Halloween as a sign. A sign that there would be other opportunities to do business, but only a few chances to be with my family. To see those moments that slip by all too quickly. I’ve remembered the lesson, and that is why we were all home with our families on Halloween this year.
I think one of the most difficult things for me, even today, is striving for the balance between business and family. You throw in friends and I am paddling up stream just trying to do all the things I want to do. Not have to do, but want to do. Like spending time with my family, my friends, my puppies, and my writing. I still love my writing. It has always been more than just a job to me, but . . . All the things that are important to me are more than just a chore.
Right now, I’m going to go over and try to think of what we will have for dinner with Trinity, and the dogs. Though the dogs don’t get to share the food, not good for them. Dinner, and a show to watch, and that solid peace when you let out that breath of tension. Let out that breath and know that you’re home. Home with your family. Home with your friends. Home with your pets. Home with the job that fills a place in your heart. I hope you got to spend Halloween with who, or what, makes you feel most at home. We did.