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Yesterday was Veterans Day, and I missed it. Sorry. When you finish work at ten at night, it sort of eats the day. But, it’s never too late to celebrate. Hug a veteran, and thank them for their service.

I’ve tried to write more on this blog, and it’s not working. My head is clogged with things that I can’t share, yet, and some that are too personal to ever share. I am thinking of absent friends, and those people you loose in your life, some through death, and some through them just walking away. There is a reason I’m back in therapy, because the thought that went through my head is one I’ve had before. Why? Why wasn’t I enough? Good enough, pretty enough, whatever enough. But it’s a child’s thought, to believe if you were good enough, or better behaved, or better at something, that they would have stayed, or loved you better, or hell, even loved you at all. It doesn’t work like that. It really isn’t your loss, but theirs. But, would I have been so terribly driven to succeed, if the man, who was technically my father, hadn’t abandoned me? If my mother hadn’t died when I was quite young, would I have the drive I have now? Which comes first; the tragedy, or the will power? I guess, it’s a chicken/egg kind of question. No real answer, but just because you can’t answer it, doesn’t mean the question isn’t worth asking.