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Hey, everybody. I was going to recommend a movie that most of you probably won’t pick up, because you’ll never know it exisited. FRIENDS AND FAMILY, is one of the funniest movies we’ve seen in years. The idea? A New York gay couple who happen to be the main bodyguards and enforcers for the Don of a mob family. Add that one half of the couple has a dad who is deep cover F.B.I, and a mother that has arranged a surprise birthday visit, and the fun goes from there. Oh, the parents think the men run a caterering company. In one hilarious scene the two mob bodyguards prove, beyond shadow of doubt, that they cannot cook. Watching them try to boil eggs was just a hoot. The movie walks a thin line between too much and just enough for the humor, and the characters to shine. The end of the movie is touching, and holds one of the most romantic pieces of dialogue that I’ve seen in a movie in a long time. I think, because they were so careful to show little or no touching between the couple, they had to build the relationship more. It freaking worked. Hollywood relies on sex for romance most of the time, and the two are not synomomous.
Yeah, there’s a lot of sex in my books, but you earn it. It’s not easy or done instead of the emotional stuff. Sex is the reward, not the meat of a relationship. If you’re lying in bed in the middle of foreplay and you think of something funny, and share it, and have everybody laugh, then you are in the right bed. If you’re worried that what you’re about to say will offend someone, then what the hell are you doing naked in a bed with them? Sorry, sorry, got distracted, but it is one of my pet peeves. So many movies and shows, present a picture of life that has little or nothing to do with reality. It maybe funny, but it ain’t real. So many times Hollywood makes it seem so easy. You meet, you get that little shot of eltricity between two people and the next thing you know, you’re having sex, and that makes a relationship. I’ve interviewed people that number their sexual partners in the hundreds. Notice I said, sexual partners, not lovers. Love has very little to do with it when you’re that busy. You may be having a good time, and if it works for you, great, but sex is not love. Now, I would be the last person to say that sex isn’t a high priority for me. It certainly is, in fact sexual compatibility is in the top three for me. Because when two people who truly love each other are mismatched really badly in their tastes or appetite in the bedroom is soul-destroying. So it’s improtant, but the sex is not the relationship. I think most media presents it as if it is.
But back to what I started this blog with, the movie, FRIENDS AND FAMILY. Without a single kiss, or almost any other caressing. I’m not sure they even held hands during the movie. I’d have to see it again, and I plan to. But with so little physical contact, their love for eachother shone through. It was tender, funny, and it made them a real couple in a way that so much of the bump and grind between the sheets, does not.
I think one of the reasons that everyone has enjoyed my books so much is that Anita didn’t fall into bed with Jean-Claude or Richard, when they first met. You had to build a relationship first. You laid a foundation that was about so many things other than sex. Truthfully, I think in the Merry books one of the reasons that Doyle is a favorite for more people is that he had to wait a book or so, before he got intercourse. No one has liked anyone else as well, that has gotten to the sex too quickly, or too easily. Sex is sex, but love, ah, there’s the hard part. It’s harder to show on film, harder to show on paper, and harder to get in real life.