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Hi all! It is Darla. Wow. We have heard from so many folks that they too are not members of the herd and Laurell’s post made them realize there is nothing wrong with them after all. The age range has been astonishing from early teens to late 50’s.
In fact Laurell and I were discussing it at lunch today. That unless there is someone in your life or you find a friend like you that you may not realize it is okay to be you, even if that you is different from those around you.
Laurell calls them the herd. I call them the chickens. I do that because my aunt had a group of chickens. (What do you call a group of chickens anyway?). One chicken had it’s eye injured and lost it. My aunt had to segregate the chicken she called Popeye. Why? The other chickens attacked it everytime they could get to it. As if that small difference was some how a death sentence for poor Popeye. He looked just like all the rest, except for the eye. He even acted like them, but that small difference was enough to make the rest want to destroy him.
I always called those who were different, like myself, the wolf pack. Wolf packs tend the wounded and injured. The whole pack will raise the new cubs. They all take joy in the new ones. They don’t pick at those who are slightly different, not as fast, not as good. Rather they all tend to help it along. I have no doubts about which group I would rather belong to.
Some of the emails have asked how do you survive? Or at least they have in so many words. So how do you? By being yourself. By realizing that if you’re not harming anyone else, that you’re okay. Find someone else who is not pack to be a friend with. Especially while in school. Because as hard as it may seem in school, it will not last forever. You will get out of school and be able to continue on with your life. In the meantime, you keep your head down and find things you enjoy doing. Don’t worry about the herd. Easy to say, hard to do. But I been there and done it. So have lots of other folks. You just have to push through it without letting them destroy you.
Find refuge in something you love.
Don’t try to change the herd members. They are terrified of those who are different. Heck, you might be right and them wrong! They cannot stand the thought and will torment you for it. My experience has been many of them are miserable and scared, and misery really does love company. It is sad so many convince themselves that tearing down others is the road to their own happiness. It is not. But you will never convince them of that.
Once you become an adult it is easier to find others who share your joys and passions. It is easier to stay away from herd members. But you will never escape them