Hostages

Sep 19, 2006

Today, so far, knock wood, is a better day. No one had to go to the emergency room. Strangely, I’ve actually gotten fewer pages, which I didn’t think was possible, but I did finish up a piece of editing. I got the dedication for MISTRAL’S KISS off, as well. The original one I wanted to use turned out the poetry was not in public domain. It would take weeks to get permission for use and we’re down to the wire. I actually held the advanced reader’s copy, ARC, in my hands today. So the dedication can’t wait for weeks. I am sitting here in my beautiful new office, with one pug snoring beside me. The rest are in the main part of the house, probably snoring over there. Anyway, I’m in an exceptionally bad mood. I’ve been in a good mood for days. I’ve managed not to be my usual moody self. A new attempt to clean up those murky areas of the psyche. It’s been going well, until today. Nothing big, if I had a back slide it should have been yesterday when the injured list around us kept growing. But I was cool yesterday, took it in stride. Today something small set me off, so small in comparison. Darla asked me, “What are you mad at?” It seems like such a simple question, but I couldn’t answer it. I don’t know. Why am I this angry? When you over react to something small it’s not about the small thing, it’s about something else. Something that may not even be related to what seemed to trigger it. I’ve thought off and on while I worked for two hours, what am I mad at? I still don’t have an answer. Anita’s anger issues are very close to home. Would shooting up people on paper help? Would doing some violent scene help this anger? I don’t know, but I do know that the scene I’m in isn’t about violence. It’s about thinking, about using our resources in an intelligent manner. Anita and the police have hostages to deal with, and that means the whole shoot first, ask questions later, is not a viable option. I’m wishing Anita hadn’t called in the cops. I could still rewrite it, so that she doesn’t. We have Edward with us, and his back-up, so could we go in just us? Would that work, or would it be putting the hostages at risk? That was the original call, that Anita didn’t trust her and Edward to negotiate for hostages. I mean, they’re great at killing, but saving lives . . . Sometimes not so good. We don’t want to endanger the nice people, but including the police is a major hassle for Anita. This is a problem that might be easier to solve without the law looking over her shoulder. Yeah, she has a badge, but being an executioner means that her idea of law enforcement can be pretty simplistic. Bad guy, have warrant, dead bad guy. Simple. Once you invite in too many different flavors of police you loose control of the situation. It becomes complex. I don’t want complex today. I want simple. If Anita didn’t call in the major back up, would we be able to keep the damage to the civillians lower? Hell, would Anita be in too much danger without the police back up? I’m not sure. I’m really not. I guess it’s a matter of deciding are we going to negotiate for hostages, or just kill these bastards. Wait, I know the answer. Kill them. Okay, can we kill them before they take innocent lives? Answer, no. And that’s with or without the extra police help. It’s a situation that if the bad guys want to take hostages down, they can, and there is no way to stop them completely. Do I rewrite it so that there are fewer people in danger? One of the nice things about only playing a federal marshal on paper is that if the situation gets too out of hand I can rewrite it tomorrow. In real life police work doesn’t have a rewrite button. I can be brilliant on paper because I have days to plan it, redo it, until it works. My hat is always off to the real police, who react to impossible situations every day, in the blink of an eye, because that’s how fast real life happens. I like fiction, you can always fix it later. I’m outta here for the day. I don’t know what to do with the bad guys, or how to save the hostages. I don’t like the idea of there being no way to save all the hostages, but if the situation remains as I’ve written it, then some will die. If I’m going to do the police work on paper, I’m not going to cheat. If it’s a bad situation then it’s bad, and it will be as realistic as I can make it, except for the vampires. But other than the vampires, I’ll do it right. But right, sucks sometimes.