Listening to the Silence
It’s 11:00 in the morning and I have no writing done. I’m on deadline and I have no writing done. This is usually my cue to beat myself up emotionally which feeds all sorts of issues which if fed enough will trigger the chorus line of personal demons that I think most of us have in our heads. Once that chorus begins to chant their negative messages and dance their little dance not only is writing unlikely to happen today, but my day will be wrecked. I will be wrecked emotionally and it just goes downhill from there.
Often when I’m behind in my morning routine for work I try to hit the writing hard and make up for lost time, sometimes that works, but not when my head has already started going dark. On days like that I’ve learned that I need to do one of two things, maybe both, get on the treadmill and walk off the black mood, and/or mediate. I light a candle and try to focus not on the stressful morning, or all the things that are feeding the bad day, but on listening to that still, small voice that we all have inside us. The voice of our good angels, our totems, our spirit guides, that little slice of God/Goddess that is there to help us if we take the time to listen. It’s hard when most days are so rushed, but I’ve learned that if I can take even a few moments to stand outside in the sun, or hug a tree, or do anything that helps me be still and truly listen, that there will be comfort, or wisdom, or I’ll think of something I didn’t think of before that helps. Think about how powerful that is, that inside each of us is a spark of the Divine that will guide us, teach us, steady us, and it is always there, if we enter the silence and listen for it. (For all you atheists out there, you have it too, maybe you call it consciences, or inner knowing, but it’s there.)
I came away from meditation with this thought, “That there has to be chaos before there can be order. Sometimes you need that bad relationship in order to learn the lessons needed to have that wonderful relationship next time. Sometimes you lose an opportunity, because a better one is waiting for you. You make a mistake that turns out to be exactly what you needed to solve a major problem in your life/job/family/romance. A frustrating morning can lead to a life lesson that helps you find your way to a better afternoon, and to happier days in general.”
If I can hold onto this lesson, I’ve already put it in my journal, and I’m typing it here, then perhaps I won’t let the negative things drowned out the positive things, which I have a tendency to do.
I meditated and then I allowed myself to sit in the big, comfy leather chair in my office, cuddle with one of my dogs, sip tea and read from the book I’d almost finished. It reminded me that life isn’t all about the rushing around and accomplishing goals, it’s also about working hard so you can have the time to enjoy the things that make you happy. Now, I feel ready to start on that second bottle of water of the day, and get back to working on the story that is due. I have hope that I’ll get through the majority of it today, which is a lot better attitude than I had before I took a few minutes to be still and listen.
16 thoughts on “Listening to the Silence”
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I’ve been a fan of you’re for years love your Anita Blake series and read your blogs because they are inspirational to me as a 50 year old woman who has been thru a lot herself and find that I empathize with you on a lot of things
I am having a day similar to yours. I have several demons creeping into my thoughts. My support group consists of yoga, my three pets, and my husband. But they cannot help me if I don’t address my dark mood first. I am learning I have to be happy to be able to make others around me happy. Self-care is a hard thing for me to do. Thank you for sharing. I needed to know someone else can escape the darkness, too. Your words both in book and life are always interesting and inspiring. Thank you.
Postpartum depression
Merry gave birth, you wrote deep emotional stories.
Now someone comes who gets the motivation going
Maybe one of the ladies from the first Merry case has a friend in trouble and recommends Merry, pulling her out of her head.
The guys minding the babes, hide from Merry the magical trouble from the babies that daily threatens everyone
Sholto comes back, he’s just been in the between
Hang in there lady, you got this. We were just talking about your lastest book and how many we’ve read and collected. Can’t wait to read Serpentine.
Thank you so much for sharing this little piece of vulnerability. I am going through similar musings and your wisdom helped as a good reminder. Sometimes all we need is a reminder. A reminder to take our time. Not beat ourselves up. To be kind to ourselves because either no one else will be or if we don’t then we can’t help those who need us further down the road. Keep your head up. Traumas don’t make us. They are just the pebbles leading the rivers of our mind to the ocean that awaits.
That’s really beautiful. I’ve been reading your books for years and love how much Anita has grown/developed. I’m rereading the whole Anita series for the 3rd time and fall more in love with your characters and writing with every book. I’m also in the midst of the Merry series and have just started Swallowing Darkness. Frost reminded me a lot of Richard with his moods and intensity. Doyle was a lot like Jean Claude with his quiet strength and ferocity. I love them both and am hoping Frost will return to his sidhe form in a future book. Fingers crossed! Thank you for devoting so much of yourself to your readers.
IN ONE OF YOUR EARLIER POSTS YOU MENTIONED THAT YOUR DOG WAS EATING POO, THAT IS OFTEN A SIGN THAT THE DOG HAS A LIVER PROBLEM AND IS EATING FACES TO MAKE UP HIS OWN LACK OF ENZIMES DO TAKE THE DOG TO THE VET AND MENTION THE POO PROBLEM
I hope everything works out well for you and that you have a wonderful day.
Thank you Laurell, I have saved your very insightful thought above for when I am struggling to fight with my inner negative demons.
Love your books, just finished rereading the Merry series, and before that reread the Anita series. Merry and Anita give me strength in times of physical and emotion stress.
Take your time, and take care of you, I will be ready to read whenever your book is ready to come out.
The way you handle those dark times is inspiring to those of us who have our own dark times. Thank you for sharing. Sometimes I need that reminder that the darkness I go through isn’t something that I am the only one that has it.
Believe it or not your words and thoughts are inspirational to a lot of women myself included and I’ve been a fan of your Anita Blake series for years ..
I enjoyed all of your books but what was the reasoning behind ending the Merry Gentry series those are some of my favorite books, I really wish you would continue writing them. It truly takes me away to another world and really appreciate it.
You are a Blessing. I love your books. I have them all. I understand about the darkness trying to form to shut the light out. Meditation is wonderful with the candles. Going outside spending time with y’all 4 legged family is the best. Also sitting inside curled up with hot tea them in your lap is grand. Glad your day is turning around. Sending Sweet Blessing to you and yours. Blessed Be
This is amazing and exactly what I needed today.
Have been reading & re-reading both series since i was 14. Am 33 now. Just know that your fans support you and can’t wait for what may be coming out next. It takes how long it takes and creativity needs to incubate on its own deadline 🙂