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I got a migraine coming back from Illinois last night. I won’t talk about my family here. I haven’t decided how much to share. So we’ll skip that for now. Maybe grief should be private, and sharing doesn’t make it better. But I got a migraine on the way home, and didn’t realize in time what it was. I hit the door and ran for the bathroom, very sick. I hate migraines like that. I woke up this morning with a migraine hangover. It means you feel like crap, light and sound sensitive, and that if you don’t take care of yourself you can have another migraine. I spent most of the day wearing dark, wraparound sunglasses, and avoiding loud noises. Late in the afternoon though I couldn’t stand it anymore, I had to do something, accomplish something. Jon wasn’t feeling much better than I was, so my plans for errands together made him give me the look. He was content to embrace the fact that he wasn’t feeling well. I was the only one feeling restless, so it was my problem to deal with. He was right, but I was still bitchy about it. What to do when you’re feeling bitchy, and taking it out on people you shouldn’t? For me, it means go to the office and try to work. Put that grumpiness to use. I find that anger and most strong emotions translate to energy on paper.
I was worried that the computer screen might make the headache worse, but I have a good screen. No flickering, because I can’t stand flicker. It was a nice overcast day, and I turned on only the smallest of lights in my office, slipped my prescription glasses on, and went to work. I had a few pages in my notebook to transfer to paper. I really wasn’t thinking I’d get much done today. I felt like shit, but I thought a few pages, a little progress, and I knew I’d feel better when I got up tomorrow. Well, thirty pages later, I’m done for the day. Thirty pages from around 2:00 to 6:30, or so. That’s a lot of pages. I wrote earlier that this Anita book is ready to go, and I was right. I’ve got seventy-one pages of it. All from days when I just mean to do a few pages, just enough to help me do the outline. Yeah, right.
I chose to try and work on Anita because I knew if I could work on anything with my head feeling this miserable, it was Anita. I was right, but I’ve got to figure out a way to get Merry 5 going. I may try to work morning’s on Anita and afternoons on Merry for awhile, until I get Merry up and running. I’ve still got to finish reading the last Merry book and make notes. I have over a hundred pages, but it’s not the beginning of the book. I need to figure out what chapter one is going to be. Until I figure that out, I won’t be able to get a lot of pages in a row. Any way, I’m tired, but my head feels much better. I guess work helps me relieve stress.