News

One of the new things I’m trying to do is enjoy my success. Part of that is that my schedule, though arduous, is flexible. So, this week, Jon and I went to a movie in the middle of the day. Had to get home in time for him to pick the kiddo up from school, but we managed to fit the movie in.
We saw, “Superhero Movie”, yes, it was stupid, but not so stupid that it wasn’t funny. Though, some of the humor, as with most of these kinds of movies, was a little too over the top sometimes for me. But over all just stupid enough to be funny. I would say wait for DVD, or go to an early show rather than paying evening movie prices.
There were other movies we wanted to see, but either they didn’t have earlier enough start times, or they were movies that we wanted to take Trinity to. The middle of the day, just the two of us, movie is about seeing something that wouldn’t be kid-safe.
One of the things that I learned from my first marriage going under, was that you have to work at being married. Staying happy isn’t accidental. One of the ways you stay happy as a couple is that you don’t give up all the things that made you enjoy each other when you were dating, or back when you were both still just friends. What do I mean by that?
One of the things that began our serious friendship and would eventually lead to actual dating was that we both could go to movies in the middle of the day. We both found out, by accident, that we were going by ourselves, and we decided to combine forces. Both of us can, and have, gone to movies by ourselves, but we both agree that it’s better with a friend. It was.
But in the last few years, the schedule has been rather harsh, and I just couldn’t see my way clear to movies in the middle of a kid-free work day. Logical, extremely, Mr. Spock would be proud. But logic and being a happy couple, are not always the same thing.
So, I made the decision early in the morning that we would see a movie, period, whether I had my pages done for the day, or not. It ended up being, or not, but I was okay with that. My husband and I got to go out in the middle of the day, and see a movie, something we hadn’t done in awhile. It was nice, and it reminded us of those early days, when you’re first becoming a couple. It’s so easy to get in a routine, that is mostly about the children, the job, and other very grown-up things. But sometimes, you need to remind each other what it was that brought you together. Maybe it’s sports, movies, books, history, horticultural, music, cars, dancing, so many things bring us together. Whatever it is, don’t loose it completely.
People say, and I say it, too, that the kiddo will never be this little again. That is true. But you know what, Mom and Dad will never be this age again, either. If you live your whole life around the kids, your twenties, your thirties, your forties, your fifties, are never coming back. It isn’t just childhood that is slipping away, if you don’t pay attention. Life is what’s slipping away. Someday the kids will be grown and on their own, don’t forget how to be yourself, or how to be a couple, because that is what remains when the children go. You, your spouse, and your sense of what it means to be a couple.
May I add for my friends that do not have children, that the same rules apply. It may be less complicated without kids to maneuver around, but work, and other duties, can still eat your life, and make you into strangers with your partner. Make a list of things you used to do, but haven’t done in awhile, and see if there’s any way to dust that list off and go have some fun.