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I walked into my office this morning with night still thick and black outside my windows. As I got up yesterday to make sure I hit the treadmill, so today I got up early to make up for the fact that I didn’t do a second work session last night. I chose to spend time with Jon and our daughter, Trinity. The three of us often sit in the family room puttering on lap tops, or iPads, or reading. Yesterday I was reading Death in the Long Grass by Chapstick, and a particularly good part made me read a bit out loud. Then somehow, at mostly Trinity’s request, I ended up reading almost a chapter out loud, because once the action starts it doesn’t really stop, and in between jaw-dropping real life adventure, he’s funny. Who doesn’t love humor mixed in with your blood and near death escapes; certainly not me? Then Chica was home, and she was fixing dinner, and I hadn’t seen her all day except as a hi, bye, in the morning before she went to work. I wanted to talk to my sister, and then . . . Well, you see how it went. I love my family, and love spending time with them. So, when I woke in blackness, knowing just by the quality of it, that dawn was not that close I got out of bed to go work. I played last night, so I could look at this as my penance, or I could say it’s a trade. I didn’t regret anything but the television watching last night. Even one show is too much with my schedule right now. But, a lot of my schedule is fun!
I used to think my life would get less busy someday, but Jon took me aside about seven years into our marriage, and said, “You keep saying it’s going to get less busy, but it doesn’t. It’s been like this since we got together.” He touched my shoulders, turned me to look up into his eyes and very seriously said, “I think this is it. This is your schedule, and it doesn’t get any easier.” My husband is a very wise man sometimes.
A few years back I was more successful than I’d ever dreamed of being as a writer, but I was pretty miserable, because all I was doing was writing. One memorable day I finished an Anita Blake novel in the morning, sent it off to New York, and began the next Meredith Gentry book that afternoon. Even I, with the stamina of a bull Elk, *laughs* could not keep that kind of schedule going forever. One thing I did was consolidate both series at one publisher. Now, no matter which series I’m working on, I’m making my publisher, Penguin Putnam happy, before this it was like dating two men who knew about each other, so you weren’t cheating, but they both wanted all your time. Eventually if you burn the candle at both ends you meet in the middle, and poof, no more candle. I needed a better way to burn, one that didn’t use me up.
So, what did I do? Well, I took one year where I did just one book, not two. That’s why there wasn’t a Merry book this year, but I’ve said, a lot, that there will be a Merry book in 2012, but it does mean I’m back to having to write two books in a very short space of time. I know, I know, every writer should have it so hard that they have two New York Times best selling series, and that they hit #1 a lot, so much so that their publisher wants more! It’s a great “problem” to have, but try my writing schedule for a little bit, then come talk to me about what is, and isn’t, a problem. I’ll manage it, but one thing I couldn’t bear to do was to go back to the punishing schedule I’d been on for the last few years. So, what to do?
I decided to play as hard as I work. Which means, I read to my daughter yesterday when she asked, as she remarked on things she was doing on the internet, and as Jon shared some of his findings on the inter web. It means I talked to Chica for a bit. It means this weekend Jon and I are going to visit friends out of state. Yes, the deadline is looming, but there’s always a deadline looming, and that’s just the way of things, as Jon said, “This is it. I don’t think it’s going to get any easier.” Since I couldn’t take away from my work schedule, I added things that were fun to my schedule. It seems counter intuitive to add to an already impossible schedule, but it was either add, or subtract and that would mean you guys would get fewer books with more time in between them, besides when I don’t write for awhile I get a little odd. My muse and I are heavy use items, and it works for us. 🙂
I have traveled more for pleasure this year than I have in the previous five, or longer. I had cut all the joy out of my life and whittled it down to the work, in a vain attempt to keep it all going, but you can only whittle away so much before you begin to cut into things that you need. By adding my more playtime to my insane schedule I have been happiest I have ever been. My muse and I have gone from feeling dry and empty, to a full well of ideas and inspiration. Writing isn’t just about putting my butt in a chair and making pages. It’s also about finding what inspires me. Not just ideas, I’m one of those blessed writers who finds ideas every damn where, but that breath of the divine that fills my metaphorical sails and helps me keep going until I’ve reached the shore. Before I figured out what I needed I was like a ship in the middle of a calm sea, out of fuel for my engine, and with no wind, I was left trying to paddle a very big ship. Ships aren’t meant to run on paddle power alone; no wonder I was tired. *grin*
Today I woke anxious, convinced I’d wasted last night, and how dare I do that with a book needing to be written, comic stuff due, and the deadline for the book coming at me like a train barreling down the tracks. How dare I waste my time, and not WORK! But I got up in the dark so I could start work early, because I didn’t burn the candle last night, I got up to burn it this morning. It’s the compromise, and I have no regrets about where I spent my time yesterday. I mean, what do I regret? Reading to my child? Um, no. Talking to my sister? No. Spending some serious quality time with my husband? Nope, no regrets. I walked into my office in the darkness and was happy to be there before dawn, happy to be getting to work, and not wanting to trade anything from last night, except the television watching. No more of that for awhile, I’m afraid. There will come a time when the deadline eats the world and I won’t be able to choose to talk, or visit, or read aloud to my family, but that’s a couple of months away. Until then, I’m going to enjoy my family, my home, my life, and the friends and people that help renew and inspire me. I can be successful beyond my wildest dreams, and still enjoy my life. It just takes planning, time management, and a lot of play dates for me, not the child. *laughs*