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I’m sitting here at my little desk working on the Jason book. I’m making some progress. I’m really glad I had the break through yesterday, because today I’ve got a legitimate reason to feel like shit.
I feel like this blog is a break for you guys. A little interest or up beat in your day, so I try to avoid things that are too depressing, but today if you get a blog it’s going to have to be sad. It’s all I got today. Sorry ’bout that.
Our dog, Jimmy, passed away earlier today. He was seventeen, maybe eighteen, so it wasn’t unexpected, but . . . he had cancer earlier this year and had to have three quarters of his jaw removed, but they thought they got it all. He was getting a new experimental treatment that caused fewer side effects than Chemo. He was perky again, then he started to fade. It’s been gradual over a matter of weeks, but then he started getting sicker. Not with cancer, but with breathing and heart problems. He’s been on, or in, oxygen at the Vet’s for the last two days. It was helping. We were expecting more test results this afternoon so we could figure out exactly what was wrong. We had an appointment to talk to the vet and pick Jimmy up at 3:00 this afternoon. Minutes from now we were supposed to pick our oldendogger up.
Instead we got an early morning call that is was over. He’d died suddenly and unexpectedly from what they thought was a massive heart attack. It’s been a difficult day. Trinity took it hard. I guess we all did.
We went to the vet’s and said our good-byes. I held him one last time. One last time for him to shed all over my shirt. One last time to feel the weight of him in my lap. His fur smelled like medicine and not like him.
We’re going to have him cremated and sprinkle him in the flower beds where we wouldn’t let him dig or pee. And near the hedge row where the rabbits hide. He was always trying to catch them when he was younger.
Since we got him as a rescue when he was estimated to be ten, he wasn’t exactly young, but he was game. We got him on his last day at a kill shelter here in Missouri. He got six years with us. Six good years that he wouldn’t have had. He came already housebroken, and long past the problems of puppy hood. Jimmy really won me over to the idea of adopting an older dog. His greatest joy was to simply lay near me while I worked, or near Darla in her office. He divided his day between our two offices or the living room couch. Why not Jon’s office? Don’t know, you’d have to ask Jimmy. I’m sure he had his reasons. Maybe Darla and I were simply a softer touch for treats. Before he got sick he was a serious food hound. Half beagle and half pug; neither is a breed to turn down food.
I managed two pages on the book. Whether they are any good or just gibberish remains to be seen. Why work on a day like this? Because work is my solace, and always has been.