goals Archives - Laurell K. Hamilton

New Blog – My Page Count Sucked Today

Some writers work for a certain number of hours, or an hour, and when the time is up they’re done for the day regardless of how much, or how little, they’ve written. Others do word count, a thousand words a day, or four thousand, and when they hit that, they’re done. I’ve always done page count, and I work until I’m done, or until I’m too exhausted to keep going. I post my page count for the day on line, a lot. Okay, I post it on Twitter a lot. My minimum page count goal is usually eight pages a day, but sometimes I’ll lower it to four pages, because some books are harder to write than others. I routinely do over ten pages a day when I’m deep into a book. When I’m really in the zone I can do twenty-plus pages a day for a week, or close to it. I have a lot of beginning writers, and even seasoned writers chastise themselves, because they can’t rival my page count per day. First, I type over two hundred words a minute, so that helps, and no, I have no idea how I type that fast, it’s a gift. But since a lot of the writers on line seem to get upset, because they can’t do it, I wanted to be sure and post today’s page count. Two pages, yeah you read that correctly, I have two pages for the entire day.

When I’m in the zone I can get twenty pages in two hours, but today it took me about eight hours to get those two pages. They’re good pages, strong pages, but it was a very frustrating day. I worked in the morning for no pages, and then went back after lunch, because I knew I had gym in the late afternoon, so I wanted to work until I had to leave for that. That’s how I got my two pages, by going back for a second session after a completely fruitless one that morning. Sometimes when the morning is completely dry like that I’ll give myself the rest of the day off, because the creative tank is empty and needs to fill up by doing something else, or I’m not sure what comes next in the book, or I know what’s next but don’t know exactly how to get from point A to point B. At times like that a few hours, or even a day away from the book can let my imagination work, and when I set down again I’ll feel refreshed, I’ll know what comes next, or I’ll know how to write the next part. But sometimes I just have to keep slogging away, until the creative log jam bursts and the waters come rushing through, or in this case trickling through. If I had given up and not gone back after lunch I wouldn’t have the two pages which lets me know exactly what comes next, and precisely how to write the next scene. I don’t feel a single hour at my keyboard was wasted today, because I know I needed every frustrating minute to finally break through what was clogging up the creative pipeline. Would I have rather had a day of twenty pages flowing like water from the proverbial cleft rock? Hell, yes, every writer would, but I’ve learned that the “bang your head against the problem” days are valuable to me as an artist. I don’t know why they’re necessary, but for me they seem to be part of my process especially early in a book. Tomorrow should be easier, because I planted the seeds of success today with those two hard won pages.

I’ve written and published over thirty novels, and I still have days when the words do not flow, the pages do not add up to much, so for all of you writers out there that have been watching me post my page count on line and despairing, I just wanted you to know that not every day is a home run, not even for me. Sometimes I’m just happy to get a runner on first base, and still be at bat. If you got any writing done today, give yourself a point, whether it was a few sentences, or paragraphs, or pages, if you sat your butt down and actually wrote – congratulations! Because writers, write, so you write your bad self into the next paragraph, or chapter, or short story tomorrow and think to yourself. Laurell K. Hamilton only did two pages yesterday, I can do two pages. You can, you know, you really can. Happy hunting!

Happy Summer Solstice Harvest!

Happy Summer Solstice! Blessed Litha for my fellow pagans! Today is the longest day of the year. More sun, more light, more warmth, and tomorrow there will be a touch less, as we head towards autumn. This is a harvest festival for us, because it is traditionally when serious bounty began to come in from the fields, back when we couldn’t just run down to the grocery store and buy strawberries in January.

So, what good is a harvest festival in modern times where some people don’t even know that tomatoes grow on vines?

It’s true that the closest some of us get to a field is an apple picking afternoon at one of the local orchards, or the local organic isle, but harvest isn’t just about the stuff that feeds the body, it’s also about what feeds the heart, mind, and soul.

Harvesting means you’ve chosen what you wanted to grow, so you could get the right seed and plant it. You found out how much sun, how much water, and how many days until it would mature into a yummy vegetable. Pick something you want in your life, a better job, new couch, water garden, a family trip to Yellowstone, a romantic trip to Paris without the kids, hike the Appalachian trail, get pregnant, own your first designer watch, once a week date night, eat a more balanced diet, exercise more, take horse back riding lessons, take some college classes, be happier, love yourself more, knit your first sweater, finish your first novel, finish your 33rd novel, find a girlfriend, find a boyfriend, spend more time alone – whatever you want to bring into your life, that’s your seed.

Now that you know what you want, you need to figure out how much sunlight and water it needs, because some things need more shade, more solitude, others need bright sun and for you to reach out to more people for help, or instructions, or just to get them on board with the plan. The trick is to decide what steps you need to take, or things you need to do, or not do, to bring your harvest in before the end of the year.

For me, I want to finish the latest novel I’m writing by Thanksgiving day of this year. That’s going to require serious dedication to putting my butt in a chair and typing out pages on a regular basis. The light and water needed to finish the book is time, consistency of effort, and faith in myself and the book. On a good day, I’m so sure of myself that I’m unassailable in my certainty. On a bad day, I’m equally convinced I’d be killing trees to no purpose if I print the pages out. Oddly, I took today off from writing, to pursue two other things I wanted to bring to harvest in my life. I wanted koi for our water garden. I accomplished that by putting my name on the waiting list at the local pond store, because the fish go fast, and the big, pretty ones go faster. The fish were so gorgeous I was giddy with their beauty, and spoiled for choices. I began to laugh out loud as the clerk caught the fish I pointed out. I helped some, and was quickly splashed from glasses to sandals with water. We had one fish leap completely out of the tank to avoid being caught. I’d never seen such energy and fight in carp. It was so much fun, that I came home laughing and smelling slightly of clean, well-cared for fish. Watching them flit through the water in our pond made me smile a lot.

I also talked to the other half of our poly foursome today, and that feeds into another harvest goal, that I want even better communication to make sure that everyone’s needs get met, and most of their wants.

Jon, my husband, and I also got to visit with our friends, Sam and Eric, and since one of my goals is to see more of our friends, more often, that was perfect for today. They got here in time to help with the adventure of acclimating the koi to our pond, thanks for the help guys. What do you want to accomplish? What are you willing to put time and energy into so that you can harvest it by the end of the year? Think on what you need, what you want, and make it happen.

Dawn Chorus

I did not sleep well, at all, last night. I’m still sick from the virus and sinus infection that I caught sometime last month, which went undiagnosed. Yes, I went to the doctor. I’ve slept most of the last few days. So much, in fact, apparently I can’t sleep anymore. My mind is too full of ideas, goals, things I need to do so other people can do their job to keep resting. I made myself sleep until 5 AM, but after that I allowed myself to get up and start getting dressed. If I felt wretched, then I’d go back to bed, but if I could manage it I wanted to be up.
In the bathroom as I dressed, I could hear the dawn chorus of the birds at their spring best, that spurred me on, energized me. Now, of course, the energy is ebbing and I’ve got a fine tremble in my arms as I type this, so perhaps not the smartest thing I’ve done, but . . . I called circle to the music of the birds in a choir all around me through the open windows. The cool, spring air is still caressing my bare legs in the skirt I’m wearing. I’m wearing orange and black for Halloween colors, which makes me smile, and because orange is the color for the navel chakra, and I’m wearing citrine set in gold, because those are colors that are good for the solar plexus chakra. These two chakras have been depleted, or blocked for weeks and now I know why. Sometimes I can keep pushing on sheer will power and guts, but eventually I pay the price, this illness is that price, but I push, that’s who I am. I push myself and I push those around me, not push them around, but I always want the best for and from those closest to me either in my personal life, or business. I want us all to be happy and to be the best possible us we can be, I don’t apologize for that, it’s who I am. Never apologize for who you are if it works for you and is your true self.
I called circle and entered sacred space with the moon still shining overhead in a veil of clouds, and the spring air soft on my skin, every bird in the neighborhood singing their hearts out like a blessing in the air, and darkness still thick enough that I had to light my candles carefully in the dark, so I didn’t trip over our three small dogs. For those who don’t know, I was lighting a candle for each element – earth, air, fire, and water. I also light a candle for spirit, and then invoke God and Goddess. If you haven’t guessed, I’m Wiccan, some of us use the term witch, but I do not. I find the word is too dramatic for most of the people here in the Bible belt and explaining that our path of faith is Wiccan, as they are Christian, or Jewish, or Muslim, works better than other terms. Some words are hard to separate from their past associations like witch, or inquisition.
The three small dogs were very happy that I was up and wanting to come over to the office and meditation area. They know they get treats and which drawer they’re kept in, and if they were bigger dogs they would so have had it opened and burgled months ago. I’ve caught our two Japanese chins, Keiko and Mordor, worrying at it, and trying with mouth and paws to open it. Our pug, Sasquatch, awaits his orders when they need muscle, like ramming doors that will not open. It’s given him his umpteenth nickname of Rhino. Sometimes Rhino finds doors too solidly closed and you hear a thump, and he staggers himself, but mostly he gets the doors in the older parts of the house to open, but most doors open promptly by their human staff, if they’re allowed in that room at that time.
I watched the first glow like a cut in the darkness that allowed the light to seep through, and then dawn spread in a pink, mauve, purple, lavender neon extravaganza lighting up the eastern sky just behind my eastern candle and I was able to greet the light, praise God and Goddess, though dawn always feels more feminine to me. I asked for their help in healing, and being positive while I healed, and finding the lessons that I’m supposed to be learning during all of it.
Now, the dogs are over with our daughter Trinity, who’s job it is to feed them, and I’m left to bird song and the first sounds of my neighbors rising for their days. The sun is a visible ball of fire through the trees like an orang-yellow spotlight and the sky is soft blue with clouds. I’m finishing the first tea of the day in my new chipmunk mug, and feel better than I’ve felt in two weeks. I can see the two silkie bantam hens grooming and searching for insects in the grass of their yard, and I am feeling all together domestic and biology loving, and that always makes me want to write. For those who are new to my books, or who know me only through the mirror of my books, you will find more about nature and animals in my blog and personal musings than violence, sex, vampires, or werewolves, or wereanything. I work in a world that is incredibly violent, but I try not to live there. I need the other sides of myself to nurture the parts that are drawn to the violence, and as for sex, I still haven’t decided how much of that to put here, or anywhere on line. I simply can’t decide my comfort level, so I leave it alone for the most part in these personal writings. If I find my comfort level at some point that may change, but for now there will be more of writing, ornithology, faith, and puppies in my blog than sex and sadism. If that isn’t what you want there are other writers that seem more than happy to share their most intimate details with you, or share the intimate details of others, but I am not one of them. I still feel that intimate reality is a gift to be shared with those who actually get to see you naked on purpose for happy nefariousness, not something to simple titilate and tease for more readership. Which is weird since I put more details in my books during the sex scenes than pretty much anyone out there, but that’s my fiction, and I’m comfortable with that. Don’t get me wrong, I love sex, but sharing my personal sexual details with the world, still not sure that’s a good idea, so – more of blossoms, than blow jobs, in my blog. Yes, that is a tortured reference to Dickens.
Now, I hear crows and they’re letting me know they’ve found a hawk, or perhaps the fledgling great horned owl that our pair raised this year, and I want to see what they’ve found. It sounds more like their, “We’ve found an owl, than we’ve found a hawk,”. Grabbing my binoculars . . . owl!