Nathaniel Archives - Laurell K. Hamilton

Dead Ice: Nathaniel

We’ve only got two blogs to go until Dead Ice hits the shelves on June 9th here in the United States, but in UK today was your day to get Dead Ice; no spoilers! But since we’re running out of time for the blogs on our side of the pond, it’s got to be Nathaniel Graison, the other third of Anita’s live-in threesome.

Question: Is Nathaniel based on a real person?

Answer: No, but he’s one of the few inspired by a true life event.
Secrets to Share: I tackled researching BDSM, bondage and submission the same way I did guns, police work, or vaudun/voodoo: with respect and thoroughness. This was before I realized that BDSM was a part of my own lifestyle, so it was all brand new to me. I learned about dominants and submissives, it would be years before I learned about tops, bottoms, and I was still being told switches, people who can be both dom and sub, didn’t exist. I learned that healthy kink is all about safe, sane, and consensual. But I learned about a man who had vanished from the community after losing his dominant to a breakup. This individual was someone who didn’t play safe, or sane, but kept the consent; but what he would consent for was beyond what most dominants wanted to do with anyone because he wouldn’t safeword before he was hurt. A dom trusts his submissive to either call safeword before they are truly hurt in a scene, or to tell them upfront, “Sometimes I get caught up in the scene and I won’t safeword in time, so please help me keep an eye on me and call it for me if you think its needed.” Or words to that effect. The man who was missing wouldn’t do either, so most people didn’t want to play with him, let alone have a relationship with him. In a world where how much pain you can take could be a mark of pride and attractive to people, this man worried people. They’d actually encouraged him to get therapy because bondage isn’t a replacement for it. You should do bondage because it’s part of your sexuality, not because it’s part of your pathology.
The missing man was named Nathaniel, or that was his name in the kink community because most people use a nickname. Now, don’t get excited, I have no idea what this man actually looked like, I never met him, never talked to him, never had him described to me – honest. But the idea that someone was so lost that they wouldn’t, or couldn’t, protect themselves during scene play to the point where they would allow people to do irreparable damage or worse, really disturbed me. It disturbed the dominant who was my guide to the world, he was afraid that this Nathaniel had found someone who didn’t stop in time either from lack of knowledge, or desire for darker things than are acceptable in the community. BDSM is not a replacement for good therapy, if that’s what you need, go get healthy, and then once you’re better if BDSM is still something that interests you, come back with a better outlook and a healthier mindset. For some people bondage is a sign they need help, for others it’s just a part of their life. That this Nathaniel might have gone off with a stranger, which you’re not supposed to do, either you get people to recommend people or vouch for them, and let himself be . . . lost for good . . . It bothered a lot, just the concept that a person could be so . . . out of the confusion and dark fascination with the entire concept of someone doing that came my fictional Nathaniel. I kept the name and the dilemma, but my Nathaniel’s background history, physical appearance, personality, is all made up. I have no idea how it matched up with that long ago and long lost, person who planted the seed that would become my fictional Nathaniel. I didn’t need to know, because my imagination had taken that seed and run with it. In fiction I saved Nathaniel, and he got therapy and helped save himself. I was able to write a happier ending for my fictional character than seems to have happened to the story that inspired that first seed.
Question: Is Nathaniel based on your husband Jonathon?

Answer: See above, and no.
Secrets to Share: This is probably one of the most persistent rumors, that my husband is either Micah or Nathaniel or they are based on him, but neither is true. Sorry to disappoint everyone, but I do not base characters on the real people in my life.

Question: Is Nathaniel your sexual fantasy? Is Micah, Jean-Claude . . . etc . . . your sexual fantasy? Are the men in your books your sexual fantasies?

Answer: No, sorry, but though I find the men in my books interesting, and hot, because it’s hard to write a good sex scene if I, as a writer, aren’t attracted to the characters, but other than that, no. The closest to being my fantasy is Nathaniel, but not because of the great sex and his beauty. He is my fantasy husband/wife because he enjoys domestic duties like cooking, cleaning, and organizing a household. All of which I am terrible at, and Jonathon isn’t much better except for the cooking part. That he’s a domestic goddess is a wish fulfillment for me, because it’s something I’ve been wanting/needing in my life but couldn’t find romantically for a very long time. That Nathaniel is beautiful and in great shape is due in large part to his job as a stripper, he has to look good on stage. I now know the time and energy that you need to put in to look as good as he does, and it’s almost another full time job. If he wasn’t having to look that good for his job, then he probably would look a tiny bit less fierce, but he would still be beautiful. Of course, Anita works out too, both to stay healthy and to be able to run away or after the bad guys and fight if she has to, it’s a matter of life and death for her, which is a great incentive to hit the gym. She works out more than I do, because my job is to sit here and write. Sedentary jobs are so bad for the body. Both for health and my doctor’s urging I keep trying to add back in more exercise, but I actually hit a time a few years back where the amount of exercise was impacting how many hours I could write in a negative way. It was weird to realize how much time it takes to look a certain way. I’m not sure it’s possible for most people to dedicate that kind of time to it. One of the reasons Anita never does “normal” daily things is between her jobs, her relationships, and hitting the gym there really isn’t any time to do anything else. Staying in fierce shape is almost another job, and the way you have to watch your nutrition . . . it is a level of discipline and time management that boggles the mind, or it boggles mine.

Sneak Peek from Dead Ice:
“When Gabriel first introduced me to Jean-Claude I thought I was there to sleep with him, instead I was there to audition for going onstage at Guilty Pleasures. I thought I knew how to take my clothes off onstage, but Jean-Claude showed me the difference between shaking the moneymaker to the music and getting naked onstage, as opposed to a true striptease. I can still hear him: ‘One is an art, and the other is cheap and tawdry, and nothing cheap dances on my stage.’ God, Jean-Claude was so elegant in everything he did. I’d never seen anyone like him.”

“He is pretty unique,” I said.

Nathaniel laughed. “He was always a perfect gentleman with all the dancers. He said he couldn’t be a good manager if he played favorites, so first he taught me how to be elegantly sexy onstage and then he taught me which fork to use, and not to tuck my napkin into my shirt collar.”

What’s Next for Anita Blake?

One of my goals for this year was to work happier, so I gave myself permission to write anything I wanted, and that was great for awhile. I’ve made some notes and even chapters, or pieces of chapters in a brand new world. I’ve learned that I need dozens to hundreds of pages that aren’t for publication while I explore and world build. I’ve tried skipping this part of my process and it’s what led me to throw out 70% of the first Meredith Gentry book after the editor had already accepted it and start the novel over. The book was immensely better for it, and the world, my main character, plot, everything vastly improved, but I learned my lesson. Unless the muses give me a book opening and world whole and complete through near magical inspiration, I need to write out my world building before I write the first book in the world.

I finished a brand new Anita Blake short novel that’s even longer than Micah which was my last original paperback surprise. Eventually, I had to look at my deadlines and my goals for the year and realize it was time to get down to brass tacks and begin the next full-size Anita Blake novel. This year, 2014, will see the first new Merry Gentry novel in almost five years, 2015 will be Anita’s turn, but to make that happen I have to write the book. Funny, how they don’t write themselves.

I usually know what I’m writing next with Anita, but I did something I used to do years back, but had stopped in the press of deadlines when I was delivering two big books a year. A decade of doing that put a lot of things on hold. There just wasn’t time to do my usual process and meet those deadlines, but see that goal to “work happier”, so I was trying to recover some of the pieces that had made things more joyous for me and my muse. I used to tidy and sort my office between writing projects, but I’d fallen so far behind on that I had literally boxes of papers on the floor, and sticky notes on the wall so old the ink had faded.

I went through every file folder, every piece of paper in my office. The desktops are cleaned and ready to go for the next book, but which one? Because in going through all the notes and scrapes of paper I’ve got a wealth of possibilities. I thought I’d chosen a follow up on Sampson, the mermaid/man, and his rather dysfunctional family situation: sirens, vampires, and murder, oh, my! But I think that Sampson’s story maybe a short story, or a different book than I thought, so – not yet. I have this great opening that I wrote on the plane back from Paris a few years ago. It has Nicky featured and I thought, cool, we’ll do a book where he takes center stage. Um, no, not ready. That opening may have Nicky in a main part, but I think it’s a book more about Anita’s necromancy and the power boost/side effects from the Mother of All Darkness. (You didn’t really think all that happened without side effects, did you?) But the book isn’t soup yet, not done, not ready, so . . . Valentina, our forever five-year-old vampire, has a story to tell, and a modern spin on her own fate, and I thought that was next, but as I tried to write it . . . it slowed down, and . . . Edward’s wedding finally? No, that story isn’t ready yet, close, but not quite ready. Olaf’s return? Maybe, but not yet. Nicky will be going home to make sure his abusive mother doesn’t get parole and Anita will go with him for moral support, but not this book. (That may actually be a novelette, or short story, and not a book at all.) Bartolome trapped forever in the body of a twelve-year-old boy, has more to tell, but again he’s not ready to tell the rest of his story. I’ve got a short story/novelette with Micah doing his job for the Furry Coalition, but so not soup yet. I’ve got a Jade novelette, or short novel, and that maybe close, but not sure. I’ve got the beginning of a short piece where Jean-Claude and Asher tell an adventure they had when they were a happy threesome with Julianna. I know the whole plot there, I think, it’s more how to tell the story without running into the traps of “telling a story,” where you know the people survived, or they couldn’t be telling you the story now. I’ve got two short pieces where Richard is on stage, and one that revisits his family, his brother Daniel in particular, but that’s not even close to ready to be written. I’ve got several pages of a story about Jean-Claude, and Nathaniel, and we find out something from both their pasts that intertwine in a way that totally surprised me. That seems to be the front runner at the moment, but again it feels more like a novelette than a novel. There’s a piece that features Detective Zerbrowski and his son, and that’s close to being ready, but again I don’t think it’s a complete novel. It may even be a short story. I found notes about a visit to Philadelphia to visit Requiem in his new home. A book set in the Carolinas that was inspired by a horrible hotel room my husband, Jon, and I had in Charlotte, North Carolina once, but though a great beginning, it’s just an idea, a book length idea, but it needs another idea, or two to bump into it before I sit down and begin in earnest. That’s just a few of the ideas I rediscovered, or tidied up into folders for later.

I’d forgotten that I did that, shed ideas like flower petals in a high wind, so that the path is strewn with wonders, and curious notes. My office is clean and neat as a pin, but my imagination is cluttered with fragments of this and that idea, character, plot, so that it’s like I’ve smashed a stained glass window and covered the floor with bright, shining, pieces, but which to pick up first?

Don’t Feed the Trolls

I’ve been getting two new questions online, the last few days – One how did people get my brand new Anita Blake novelette, Dancing, early? Two why are they giving it one and two star reviews, and is the novelette worth the money if it’s getting such bad reviews? To answer the first question, none of the people leaving those reviews have read it yet, they can’t have, but yet they’ve “reviewed” it. This happens a lot with books, movies, music, any kind of art. People decide they hate it, before they’ve read, seen, or listened to it, which means their opinion is uninformed, at best. Most of these people will actually buy my novelette, and they will then hate on it with more detail, but remember they have decided to hate it, which makes them trolls. All haters are trolls on the internet, please ignore the trolls. Whatever you do, don’t feed them.

Yes, I know that even writing this blog feeds the trolls, because they seem to thrive off of any attention be it negative, or positive, but I felt that the people that are asking me how these haters got the novelette early, needed to know that the haters don’t have it early. They don’t have it. They don’t get it, the “it” not being the novelette, but more what I do, what all artists do. We create, haters just try to destroy. The world is divided into two main camps, one tries to build things and build people up, the other side tries to tear things and people down. At the end of the day, I am happy to be in the camp that creates, builds, and tries to make the world a better, more positive place. Those that can only hate and try to cause harm, I’ve never understood them, its too alien to who I am.

So, for all you readers out there asking if you should pay attention to the low star reviews out already for Dancing, the answer is, no. Now you may hate the novelette, you may think it’s not worth the money, that I can’t control that. If you hate it, I’m sorry, but I enjoyed writing it, and thought it was very fun to finally get to share Zerbrowski and his family with all of you. I loved watching Nathaniel, Micah, and Anita interact with other police officers and their families. It was fun as hell to have Anita and the men have little Matthew in tow, and Anita have to do the family thing at the cookout. Now, if none of that interests you, by all means skip this one. But I’ll say that you will miss a deepening of their relationship, and revelations about Zerbrowski and his family that will play a part in at least one more novelette, and maybe a novel. I was really trying to keep the Zerbrowski clan out of a novel length piece, because such bad things can happen in my novels, but I’ve written the beginning of the story, so we’ll see.

So, to sum up, no one has Dancing early, the low star reviews are trolls, please ignore the trolls. On the question will you think the novelette is worth the money, I have no idea, I don’t know your criteria for that, but if I didn’t think the story was interesting and added to my character development and world building, I wouldn’t have written it. Maybe you’ll get it and hate it, I hope not, but regardless of how you feel about my story, or anyone else’s art, try not to feed the trolls. I think if you let the trolls drag you down to their level you risk becoming one of them, and no one likes a troll, not even the trolls. Try it sometime if you think you’re friends with a troll, try disagreeing with them about anything and see how fast they turn on you. Haters are gonna hate, its what they do.

The Announcement at Dragon Con 2013

Sorry that you couldn’t all be at DragonCon to hear my special announcement. It would have been awesome if everyone that had wanted to be there had been able to, but I hope the rest of you had a great labor day weekend. Jon and I had a blast!
How do you celebrate twenty years of writing a serious like Anita Blake? I’m writing on the new Merry Gentry, A Shiver of LIght which will be out summer 2014, but if I’ve done all my pages on Merry then I’ve been giving myself permission to work on anything I want to write in the afternoon, or evening. So, what have I been writing? You’re about to find out, because you’ll be able to preorder the first story, Dancing, tomorrow September 5!
I mention a lot of throwaway lines in the Anita books, scenes we never get to see in the novels, because there just isn’t time in the middle of the mystery. One of those never seen scenes is Sergeant Zerbrowski’s annual police family cookout where Anita takes Nathaniel and Micah. I wrote a novelette where we get to finally meet Zerbrowski’s entire family, and see him and his wife, Katie, at home. We also see how Anita, Micah, and Nathaniel’s relationship has grown from the events in Affliction. Anita and the guys happen to be babysitting Matthew, so we get to see them do the whole family thing with all the other cops’ families. Of course, something goes pear-shaped, but then it wouldn’t be a story if everything went smoothly, right?
How do you celebrate twenty years of a series? For me, I’m planning to write some of the scenes we never get to see on stage in the novels, and things the readers, you, have said, “I’d really like to see that.” Well, guess what, me, too.
I’d planned on maybe putting all the short stories in an anthology of Anita stories, and maybe we’ll do that someday, but thanks to technology you don’t have to wait for this first one, Dancing, you can preorder it as an e-special tomorrow, and have it on your computer, or e-reader, September 17!
Depending on how this one does you may get more of the shorter pieces as e-specials, and we might even do more out-takes like Beauty, but starting this month is your chance to encourage my muse and me to keep writing these extra adventures, and sharing them with you almost as fast as I can write them. Come dance, laugh, argue, and prove that love and friendship just might conquer all. Come Dancing with Anita, Micah, and Nathaniel tomorrow.

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