Trying to avoid a spoiler, so maybe hinting, sorry

Jul 31, 2006

I did a bad thing, and I knew it at the time, but . . . There are two scenes that you never end before you’ve begun them, okay, three. One, is a fight scene, you need at least the beginning choreography so when you sit down the next day you won’t have to start from scratch. Two, an heavy emotional scene, my courage sort of fails if I don’t have the conversation started, like any painful conversation, you don’t want to do it, so better to be started rather than have to begin it again. Three, a sex scene. You need at least some notes about how it feels, what we’re doing. I know better than to end a chapter with any of the three, and except to come back the next day and just pick up where I left off. The energy just lays there, and stares at you, the blank page mocks you. If I had just done a few notes, then I’d be okay. I’d have something to prime the pump, but nooo, I left it. I so know better, but sometimes even the most practiced of us forget. I mean I finished a chapter, and it was a heavy emotional scene, so I was tired, but . . . Now, I have a sex scene, and no start to it. I am also on top of that not feeling my best, nothing major just the ickies, but it does not put you in the mind for sex. In real life I’d have a partner, to help get me in the mood. But on paper there’s just me and the words. Yeah, my imaginary friends are great, but what makes this scene particular hard is it’s someone we’ve never done before on paper. It’s a long running character, but no one Anita has ever been with before. I always put a lot of pressure on myself the first time a man gets to appear on paper. That whole performance anxiety thing. I mean my poor words are all this man has to defend his honor, so to speak. My words are all he has to use to seduce and make love to a woman. That’s asking a lot of a few words, or so it always seems to me. So having nothing but a blank page is doubly bad on this scene.
Yeah, I haven’t told you who it is, because if I do, it’s a spoiler, and I’m trying to avoid that, since this is a book you guys aren’t even going to see until 2007. Besides, this is first draft and maybe it won’t work. Maybe there’s a reason that this man has never been in Anita’s bed. Maybe I’ll write the scene and go, no way. Or maybe Anita will say, nope. Or even the man. It’s happened before, not often, but it has happened. So until I’m positive that the scene is staying in the book, I can’t tell you guys who it is. Sorry, but I’ve learned not to promise you guys something, or someone, unless I’m positive I can deliver. I mean I’d planned on Edward being in the last two, or even three books, but he never made it. He is in this one, but that whole experience has taught me caution. If the scene stays, and works, and Jon and Darla don’t think it will be too big a spoiler I’ll tell you later. But let me see if the scene works. I have to say, Anita and I are both squeachy about doing another new guy. Don’t we have enough on our plate? What does squeachy mean? It’s that moment of embarrassment when you want to hunch your shoulders, and cringe. Sort of a combination of squeamish and icky, squeachy. You all know the moment I’m talking about. Hell, for many of us junior high is one long squeachy moment after another, and so many first dates fall into this category even when you’re supposed to be all grown up.