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Ah, Valentine’s Day, the day when every husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, or hopeful lover feels serious pressure to be more romantic than they’ve ever been before. It’s the one day of the year when most women expect, nay demand, a major romantic gesture. For all of you lucky enough to be with a man that likes getting flowers, and other traditionally female gestures, you, too, are on the spot. I actually love that Jonathon, my husband, has always enjoyed getting flowers from me. He may get flowers this year, because the big sexy gesture/present I had planned for the coming weekend has fallen through. When your big gesture partially depends on any other person, or people, your odds go down of pulling it off. I think that’s why flowers are a usual. I’m pretty certain that no matter what I can get flowers delivered, on time, to my husband. It’s a no-fail, usually. The bad weather delayed flowers that some sent the last few weeks, so flowers are a no-fail barring acts of Mother Nature.

One friend calls this holiday, “Be Romantic, or else, Day.” I can’t argue with that definition for some couples. Another single friend calls it, “The Reminder that You’re Alone Day.” And yet, another, calls it, “Happy You Have No One in Your Life Day.” Even those of my single friends who are happy being single find the constant barrage of “coupleness” wearing after awhile. So, I propose a new tradition. Pick one of your single friends and send them, at minimum, a Valentine’s Day card. Or, maybe a single rose with a note? You know your close friends what would make them happy that is within the bounds of platonic friendship. One of my favorite gifts that Jonathon gave me was from Giant Microbes. They take actual electron microscope images of microbes and make them into plush toys. Jonathon got me a black plague bacillus (Yersinia pestis). It’s black and jellybean shaped with huge blue eyes. No, the eyes are not on the actual organism. The gift earned my hubby a big kiss, and put a smile on both our faces all day, but one of the reasons it worked as a gift is that we were friends for eight years before we ever dated, so we are romantic with each other, but we are also still friends, and buy gifts accordingly.

So, pick a gift that would put a smile on your single friend’s face and give it to them. No hidden agenda here; guys and girls. If you really want them to move from friend to friend with benefit then just send them a romantic gesture and be done with it. This is a gift for your single friend to make them feel better, not for alterior motives on your part. If you can’t send the gift innocently, then don’t send it. This works the other way, too, do not send to someone if they might have a crush on you. You don’t want to give them false hope when it’s the last thing on your mind. If there’s any doubt send a kind gag gift, or pick a different person. Maybe the elderly lady next door who seems so alone would like a card, or a small box of chocolates? Or pick someone who makes your life easier all year long, but you’re pretty sure they’re not going to get anything for Valentine’s Day. The person who cleans your office, and keeps it from turning into a overwhelming mess; maybe? A card with their name on it, and a thank you inside. Tell them that they make your job easier every day of the year.

I am going to put my money where my mouth is and pick an unattached friend to send something to, because I remember when this holiday was not my favorite. Mine was a marriage where I wasn’t getting exactly what I wanted on this romantic day. You can send a special present to your married friends where you know one half won’t come through, but be careful, you don’t want to show the husband up by being better at picking a gift. I find that for many women her friends know her better than her husband. The same is true for some men and their guy pals, but it’s usually the men under pressure to perform some romantic miracle today.

So good luck all you men and women out there that are desperately scrambling to figure out what the heck to get this year. I salute you everyone, because I’m in the heart-shaped, pink crepe-papered trenches, right along with you. Damn the chocolate boxes; full steam ahead!